Wednesday, October 28, 2009


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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Once upon a time

There was once a man named Akanishi Jin
Who was so in love with a man, it's a sin
unfortunately for him, there was this one small thing
the man he fell in love with was the great turtle pear king

He tried to stop whatever he was feeling,
but when he sees him, his heart won't stop beating.
He decided there was only one thing to do
To kiss Kamenashi Kazuya out of the blue.

So after practice he decided to stay,
to ask his beloved to come out and play
but his bandmate had, begged to disagree
according to him, he was just not free

So our prince had no choice but to take drastic measures,
he pounced on his beloved, to take his own pleasure!
The last thing he saw was the size of Kame's fist
and that was when he realized that maybe ignorance is bliss.

And so while the sun sets, watched by the pigeons
Akanishi Jin was sent into oblivion
And that was the last of our hip-swiveling prince
for he was never heard from again, that day on ever since.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Oh Toma, the things you do to me!

I've often wondered how Toma looks like whenever he's with Pi. (Pi who?) At least now we know the answer.

Is it wrong that I love this so much? Is it wrong? Is it wrong?!!
swiped from [info]hpswf1

*goes back to listening to teachers before I collapse from mental orgasm*

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Thursday, August 6, 2009

{Fic} And the world is our stage

Title: And the world is our stage
Pairing: AKAME
Summary: Kame needs to take Jin back. Jin wants to stay.

The curtains closed and his heart stopped beating.

For a moment he felt time stood still.

“Kazu?” He whispered at the person standing in front of him.

“Bakanishi.” The other guy nodded his hello. “May I sit down?”

Jin blinked. Then moved to make room for his old friend. “Sure. But what are you doing here in LA?”

“I’m here to take you back.” Kame answered as he sat down on the park bench and crossed his legs, “So? Shall we return home?”

“No one’s called me that in years.”

“Bakanishi? You’ll always be Bakanishi to me.”

Jin’s brow furrowed, stared at the person beside him. There was something different about Kazuya Kamenashi. Oh he looked the same, pale, skinny, beautiful.

Kame was always beautiful.

“You changed.” Jin finally responded, “I mean..You look exactly the same like when I last saw you..Only…relaxed?”

“Well. I don’t have much to do now.” His friend replied, smiling his real smile. The Kazuya smile Jin rarely saw, even before. “You look well.” He added, eyeing Jin’s designer jeans and jacket. “You always were suited for fame.”

“You were the one who left.” Jin accused.

Kame nodded. “I was the one who left.”

They sat side by side. Jin watched his surroundings, in front of him; he can see parents play with their children in the grassy open space in the middle of the park. He can feel the wind whoosh as the spring air blew past him and Kame; he can smell the taste of hotdogs being served to the customers waiting in line.

He felt right at home.

Jin wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.

He can feel everything but the beating of his own heart.

“A-aaah.” He groaned. “I’m nervous for some reason.” He faced Kamenashi. “You’re making me nervous for a reason!”

He stared as one perfectly plucked eyebrow rose in question. “I make you nervous?”

Jin shrugged.

“Is there something you should be nervous about?”

“I don’t know. You see, you left us 3 years ago. I haven’t seen you in three years. And now, suddenly, from out of nowhere you appear and decide that you want to take me home.” Jin stood up and started pacing, Kame silently looked on. “Why the sudden interest? Did the agency call you and begged you to come get me? Why now? You didn’t care before. You don’t even talk to me unless you have to. You don’t return my calls. You don’t accept my peace offerings and one day you were just…Gone. We never expected it. I didn’t even know what happened to you, you just simply disappeared and the rest of us disbanded. That’s that. End of KATTUN. Kamenashi is a bastard who didn’t give a shit. And now you want to take me back home?” He kicked his friends’ left boot. “I demand to know why!”

Kame smirked. “You haven’t changed at all. You’re still a child at 28.”

“Am not!” Jin stuck out his tongue, and then collapsed on his knees on the pavement. “Ow!”

“Are you alright?” Kame immediately wrapped an arm around him and helped him up.

He rubbed his chest as he tried to stand. Painful, so very painful. It was as if someone stuck a thousand needles in his naked heart and started stabbing it one after the other. He fisted Kame’s white shirt. “Ow. It hurts. Everything hurts. I hate you Kazuya. Whenever I’m with you I get this pain in my heart and it gets worse every time I see you. It gets worse and worse until I can’t feel anymore. You hurt me just by being here.” Jin took a deep breath and wiped the tears falling from his eyes. “You hurt me just by being here.” He whispered again, burying his face in Kamenashi’s neck. He relaxed as he felt his friends’ hand rubbing circles in his back. Strangely enough, he suddenly felt better the moment Kame touched him.

“Hush.” Kame brushed his bangs away from his face. “You’ll be fine. And that’s a really insulting thing to say to someone you haven’t seen in three years.”

Jin closed his eyes. It was hurting again, this time worse, and a lot stronger. He was already shaking from the pain. His heart felt bruised, like someone threw it in the middle of the street and everyone just started stepping on it. He took deep breaths, his hands unintentionally wrapping themselves around his friend’s body. He had to keep himself from biting Kame’s neck in pain. “I think I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms of some sort.” He moaned in pain at the constant piercing. “Maybe I need to get away from you.”

“What you need to do is go home back to your life.” Kazuya answered and pushed Jin away so that he can place a warm hand on his heart. The pain immediately ceased. “Escaping here won’t make a difference. Everyone’s looking for you, you know. They want you back. You have duties to fulfill, fan girls to please, friends and families to go back to. They’re all waiting for you to return, Bakanishi. You can’t stay and hide here forever.” Kame clasped their hands together and pulled him close. “We are not the same people we were three years ago. I have my own life now and while it’s not ideal, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. You have your solo career to return to, you can’t just leave the people counting on you the way I did. I was stupid Jin. I regret that. I regret a lot of things. But past is past and even if I want to change the stupid decisions I’ve made, it’s too late now. I waited too long and even if I could, I don’t have the right to face the rest anymore.”

Jin bit his lip. “Return with me? Maybe Johnny will allow us to re-establish KATTUN once you’re back. Maybe we can be AKAME again. May— Why are you laughing?” He pouted, “I’m serious!”

Kame started walking, still holding Jin’s hand with his own. People ignored them as they strolled the pavement, a few joggers were doing their usual pace and a couple of teenagers were feeding the pigeons scattered around the park.

Jin thinks that maybe he can get used to this kind of life.

“What are you thinking?” Kame asked him, slowing his pace and matching Jin’s stride.

“That I could live here with you. We can be happy.”

The other guy shook his head no.

His eyes widen in realization. “Oh my God. You married? Did you marry? You impregnated someone and had a family? Is that why you left?!”


“….You…Are you sick with some incurable disease?”


“Are you living with someone? Like,…Are you gay?”

“No to the first and I don’t know to the second.”

A cough. “How can you not know?”

A smirk. “We never tried.”


“I missed that scandalous shriek.” Kame smiled at Jin, “I missed you.”

Jin looked down as he walked, licked his suddenly dry lips. “I missed you too.” He mumbled. “I mean, you know…everyone misses you.”

“I miss them too.”

“So how come we never tried?” Jin asked quietly, dreading the answer. He clutched Kame’s hand tighter, he was going to force an answer out of him, and this might be his only chance. “You knew, I know you knew.”

“I knew.”

He poked Kamenashi’s cheek. “Stop doing that!”

“Sorry.” Kame took a deep breath and let it out, “I got used to repeating what anyone says because everyone here usually understand even without explanations. I forgot that you’re the Bakanishi.” He poked Jin’s cheek back. “It was my fault I guess, I was scared, young, you were old enough and maybe you already know yourself at that time.” He faced his old friend, “I was confused and it didn’t help that the company was forcing us to do the whole fan service thing. When you returned from here, I couldn’t bear to be around you so much, everyday, every hour, every minute. You were everything I wasn’t, you reminded me of the kind of person I wanted to be. I was jealous. Jealous of your popularity, of your talent, of your charisma, Sheesh Jin, you only need to smile and people immediately love you.” He shrugged, rubbed his neck with his free hand. “I work hard. I’ve been working hard since I entered Jimusho and I haven’t stopped working until the very day I left. Yet you, everything comes easy to you. You can sing well, dance well, compose well, and you have the face, the market value, you didn’t need to work for it like the rest of us. You were a natural at everything, and to top it off, you aren’t as dumb as the others make you out to be. You have street smarts and you use it to your advantage, you play the whole dumb blond game yet you probably have more common sense than the rest of K-TTUN combined.” Kame laughed, not a derisive laugh, laugh, but a sheepish, sort of embarrassed laugh. “Mah, we shouldn’t be talking about this anymore. It’s not relevant to the current situation.”

“Yes it is.” Jin murmured softly, touching Kame’s hand to his cheek. “I’ve always wondered why you hate me.”

“I never hated you. If anything, it was the complete opposite.” Kame answered, slowly stroking the soft pale skin with the back of his hand. “I was just…Smarting?”

Jin eyed the soft, pink lips in front of him, “Why don’t we try now?”

“It’s not that easy you know.”

“You love me, and I’ve always made it clear that I love you. You’re free, I’m free, and we are here, just the two of us. Alone. Together. So why can’t we try now? When we still can? Isn’t this a second chance? Aren’t we supposed to take advantage of second chances?”

Kame released Jin’s hand and faced him until they’re eye to eye. “Did it ever occur to you that we are not meant to be in this lifetime?”

“We are meant to be, even our former fan girls agree.”

“You know, I do believe we are. Just not today and not here.”

“Why? Do you have somewhere else to be?” Jin questioned incredulously.

Kame winked. “I need to get you home before everyone else decides that it’s no use waiting for you.”

“But I want to stay here with you!”

“You can’t stay here Jin. You don’t belong here. I don’t belong here. We both have somewhere else we need to be.”

Jin stared at him, “What are you talking about?! This is LA! I’ve lived here! I can stay here! Jimusho will just have to find another talent to build! I’m not that hard to replace you know!”

“And Yamapi? Yuu? Toma? Reio? Your parents? What about them? Are you going to leave them behind?”

“I can visit them anytime!”

“If it were that easy I would have visited you a long, long time ago.” Kame looked at him seriously, “Do you know why I’m here? Because you’re here, because everyone knows that you’re looking for me and that you want me to be here. Do you know why I willingly went here? Because I want you to go back home, I don’t want you to follow me Bakanishi, we can’t be together, I live a different life now and I can’t be selfish. Taking you with me means leaving a lot of people behind. I don’t want you to sacrifice anything because you have a choice.” Kame closed his eyes, whispered, “A choice I never had.”

Jin memorized his friends’ face. That angular jaw which can open into a wide smile, those ridiculously perfectly shaped eyebrows, that moist pink kissable lips, those big soft brown eyes. He will always remember Kazuya’s face. He might forget a lot of things from time to time but Kame’s face is something that will forever be imprinted in his memory.

“I love you. I never had a chance to personally tell you that.” Jin bit his lower lip, trying to prevent the tears slowly trailing down his cheeks. “I will always love you.”

Kazuya raised Jin’s chin, “I know Bakanishi.” He whispered softly against his best friend’s cheek, “I love you too. When you need me, find me here.” He tapped Jin’s heart.

Then kissed him.

A warm, fluffy, addicting kiss, making Jin dizzy.

He can hear his heart beat again.


The air felt stale.

His moaned, “My throat hurts.” He tried to speak.

Someone gasped.

There was a moment of silence before he felt everything happen all at once.



He opened his eyes to two faces he recognized, “Uh.”

“Someone give him water.” His mother raised his bed and slowly placed a glass of water under his lip.

He took a sip.

“Are you alright?” His father asked, looking relieved.

Jin nodded.

“You scared us for a moment there.” His mother said, Jin noticed that her eyes were red.

“Reio?” his voice was scratchy.

“Asleep.” His father answered, “He’s been crying the whole afternoon.”


“Outside. Do you want to talk to him? He and the rest have been here since 4AM.”

He nodded. “I need to ask something from him.”

His mother fluffed his pillows and soothed his hair, “We’ll just be outside okay honey?”

“Thanks.” He whispered as his parents opened the door to leave the room. He watched Yamapi enter and sat beside his bed. His best friend looked nervous, confused.

“You scared us.”

“I’m sorry.” Jin looked at him. “What happened?”

Yamapi’s brow furrowed, “Don’t you remember? You were speeding and hit a van at around 4 in the morning.” He looked at Jin, “They say you were trying to kill yourself.”

“Was I?” He asked, “Was I trying to kill myself?”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“I’m tired. I don’t want this life anymore.”

Yamapi gripped his hand. “So you thought you can solve that by ending your life?! Did you even think about us?! Jin you were dead!”

“Calm down. I wasn’t trying to commit suicide. It was an accident. I’m here! I’m alive!”

“No. You were dead. You were pronounced dead when I arrived here in the hospital.” Yamapi stood up and looked at his friend and colleague, “You were already dead when they tried to use CPR on you.”

Jin’s mouth opened his shock. Electric. It was electric, not needles. He swallowed, “I was…dead?”

“We were already mourning you, they covered your body with white sheet and we were all crying, then you suddenly moaned and called out Kame’s name.” He slapped Jin’s arm. “What the fuck Bakanishi?! You scared us shitless! Your mother was in shock for hours! Reio literally had a break down and your dad thought he was going crazy! Heck, I though I was going crazy! No one knew what to do, thank God a nurse was there and had the presence of mind to call a doctor.”

“I see.” He said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Pi shook his head at him, “You can be so …”

“Why did you stop calling me Bakanishi?”

Yamapi blinked, “Did you hit your head that bad?”

“You haven’t called me Bakanishi in 3 years, why now?”

“You stopped being an idiot for 3 years, until now.”

They stared at each other.

“How’s Kame?” Pi walked toward the door and twisted the knob open. “Well?”

Jin stared out the glass window of his room and studied the city lights. It was already dark out and the tall buildings surrounding the hospital are slowly starting to glow with brightness. It looked calm to Jin, peaceful.

He can feel his heart beat faster.


“Then you should be happy too.” Yamapi told him before killing the lights and shutting the door.

Jin smiled and closed his eyes.

Tomorrow, the curtains will rise again. He won’t be Bakanishi anymore. He’ll be Akanishi Jin, the number one Johnny’s idol in Japan. He will be made to face the media and apologize to his fans for causing them alarm over the accident. He will smile, say “I’m fine and on the road to recovery.” He’ll pose for the cameras and give his fans what they always wanted, a shy smile, a naughty wink, a flying kiss.

And he’ll keep on doing those same things over and over and over again every chance he gets and every lifetime he has. He’ll continue to do it until he meets Kazuya again, and when that day comes, they will live the greatest love story ever told and the world will be their stage.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Monday, August 3, 2009

Me? A lesbian?

Surely you jest?


No. Seriously. I DO.
Me? Jealous? Are you insane?

In which I ponder about things...

Proof that Yamapi kisses better when it's a guy. *nods*
Okay, so maybe Aiba was doing most of the work but at least Yamapi responds.


This guy will step all over Nishikido Ryo's snarky face, decapitate him, castrate him all the while humming "Care."
Never have I met anyone so BITCHY that he makes me shiver with excitement. I love him. Oh Hee Chul, I aspire to be you. (My life aspirations are lower than a bug's. It's what makes me special! *beams*)

I don't think there's anymore turning back now that i'm all over Kpop-fandom. I can even name around 5 SuJu members! (isn't this exciting?!) I feel so accomplished my parents would be proud of me! Of course, the only thing keeping me from jumping from joy was the knowledge that despite the fact that I don't know a single HeySeyJump song, I can at least name the members.

Sad really. I know a lot of SuJu songs since 2006 and yet I couldn't tell them apart until recently! (In my defense, they ALL look alike, it took me months to tell apart DBSK's YooChun from JunSu!)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

My 11 steps to teh JE fandom

1. I got into fandom because of Matsumoto Jun. But not through HYD, it was Gokusen that got me interested in JE/ARASHI. I loved his white streaked hair and was convinced that he's sleeping with Yankumi and Oguri Shun at the same time. It was through MJ that I discovered the OT5 that is ARASHI. That was 2005.

2. I originally fangirl'd Ohmiya. It didn't last long though, as hardcore as I was for them, over the years I realized that Ohmiya would be nothing without Arashi. The storm group is best when they're together, as individuals, they can be ignored but as a group they're irresistable.

3. I met Yamashita Tomohisa in NwP because it was always on youtube's top 5 when it was shown in Japan. I gave it a chance and that was my downfall. NwP is not my first, second or third Jdrama but it was the one which made me want more. (which means I still consider it as my first j-drama!)

4. Seishun Amigo is forever my favorite Jpop song. Up to now it's still in my ipod and I doubt i'll remove it anytime soon.

5. PiKame is the reason I turned gay. The first rl yaoi pairing I shipped. The first real slash fics I read are of them and it was written by [info]peroxidepest17 .

6. I watched Ya-ya-yah CLIPS before I learned of NEWS via Yamapi. I always liked Kusano Hironori and knew of him before he was suspended. To be honest, he was probably the reason I liked NEWS at that time. Ryo looks like he'll eat me alive, TegoMassu are pretty much insignificant and I only know Koyama because he's always the host. Shige who?

7. My BFF introduced me to KATTUN when they debuted and this is my reaction to real face. --> (-.-) zzz

Him: Did you hear? Jin left for US! He molested a kid!
Me: Who?

8. Cartoon KATTUN without JIN. I started to take notice. Early CTKT format was awesome.


10. BFF tried to get me into HSJ.

Him: They're so cute.
Me: How old are these kids?!

11. In which I actually start to like KATTUN.

Me: OMGOD! I'm starting to like KATTUN! I think KoKame is total OTP!! Nakamaru's beatboxing is awesome! Koki is so funny! And Ueda is a princess!
Him: Huh? I'm into Kpop now.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Before I was thrown into a world where everyone is a slave to blinding glitters, where boys grope each other on national television, where Mel ships Tomapi with dogs, (Oops! How did this get here?) where androgynous Japanese men groan songs about vaginal secretions, where sizzling law students talk to invisible gay cats, (Happy birthday Shigeako!) where cross-dressing is considered a formidable talent, I belonged to the wonderful world of angst, moobs and eyeliner.

Yes, Korean pop. Like everyone else, I started with Winter Sonata drama. And hence my obsession for Korean music was born! (This totally made sense, SHUT UP! I'm under heavy medication and craving for chocolate!) The difference between then and now is the fact that before, I would never have dreamed of shipping Korean boys together! The very thought of it makes me puke. But alas, Jpop has now blinded my once clear vision and I am now more than willing to ship hot, sexy, Korean men.
But let's not talk about that. (at least, not in this journal...Yet.)

I love Kpop for their music. True Facts. I'm hoping some of you might agree with me but if you don't, that's alright, i'd still spam you guys with Kpop anyway. *smiles winningly*

Let's start with the newest girl band:

This is 2NE1 (two-en-eee-one/21) their name makes my life hard but I find their songs AWESOME! I don't know what the heck this mug shot pics are all about but i'm guessing the crimes involve hooking, drug trafficking, DUI and underage gang activities.

Their latest single:

2NE1 - I don't care
Album download

I could not care less about this group but this song is just catchy!

SNSD- Tell me your wish
Album download


Okay, so maybe this is actually just KyuChul but I am biased and I love Hee Chul lots and lots and lots and lots. It's been so long since he last looked like a man that this MV blew me away.

Super Junior - It's you
Album download

And....Lol, that's that. I placed parodies because they're a lot easier to accept than the actual lyrics? Haha. No, i'm just biased that way.

Here are random Kpop songs you might like to download JUST BECAUSE?

RAIN- If you don't know this guy, you're just weird.
Fresh woman

WONDER GIRLS - I wanna hug them. T.T
So hot

EPIK HIGH - This is one of those groups where people give you a "Huh?" look when you say you don't like them. (no pressure *wink*)
Album download
One - You can listen before download
Paris- You can listen before download

BIG BANG - 2NE1's "senpai" if you listened to the TomaXShun radio show (with the cake and letter) the first song Oguri Shun played is Big Bang's Heaven (My heaven in Korean, I have no idea why they removed the "My") LOL. Also, Haru-haru was a BIG HIT.
Album download - I like all the songs "shrug"
Gara Gara Go - latest single?

SHINee - I love them very much. Just that they're the equivalent of HeySeyJump!. ^.^v, but they have the cheesiest songs.
Album download

F-LIST.......JOIN MEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee~~~! (is obviously attempting to recruit people!) and if you're a lurker/stalker/whatever who's into korean pop, add me! Let's talk about angsty boys and Yunho's sexy moobs. I'm new to the GAY fandom but dammit! I will make up for the lost time!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Pretty young thing

Today, I cried for 10 minutes. I still can't believe Michael Jackson's gone. I grew up listening to his music and despite all the controversies surrounding him, his music will always be timeless.

Here's to you Michael!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Tomapi fanfics!

Toma, Take note of your hoe's words of wisdom:

"I would never say 'I like you' or 'I love you'. I would rather have you feel it from the way I act."

*nods wisely*

See? All that "Let's not lie", birthday celebration dinner, majosai quickies, apologizing to Toma's fans because Toma can't stop talking about him when we all know that Pi started the whole thing by calling out Toma on his jweb! ....Clearly, Pi doesn't know that we can see through him. Sigh. I love ghei boys in love. They make my life so much brighter with their unicorns and rainbows and hardcore ...uh...manly affection?

P: I have a pressing question which requires your utmost intelligence.
C: Shoot.
P: Do you think that under that basketball uniform, Yamapi's wearing really loose boxer shorts?
C: *eyes glazed*.....Whut?

In any case, I hope not. I wouldn't want anything else to get in the way of know,..Basketball? This is about basketball right? Of course it is, there's dancing! (Sorry, the entire Mola thing reminded me of "Superman" in Hot Shot!)

Since I am seriously, seriously FREE, I decided to compile all the hard to find? Tomapi fic links I saved in my comp, I know I promised doing this for someone but I seriously cannot remember who. Sorry for that.

Ikuta Toma and the clever fanfiction title - I am pimping this over and over and over because dude, it's Toma as Harry Potter, Yamapi as Ron and Hee Chul as Hermione. WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG? (Hint: Bakanishi) Knowledge of KPOP might be useful but not necessarily required.

No title - Yamapi being... Jealous?

Scents of winter - Vague, but loved.

Elisions - I think this is my favorite for no reason? I keep re-reading it.

Remember - The greatest thing about being human was that you didn't have to rememeber.

The Ring - I AM SO SAD THIS NEVER GOT FINISHED DANG ITTTT!!!! (I seriously LOVE whatever/everything she wrote.)

State of Stability - Anorexic Pi, Pin friendship. I don't even know if this is Tomapi...But he's there.

Murder before Slumber - More Akame-ish (and Pin stupidity) than Tomapi but to be fair, it was hilarious. *pats everyone's shoulders* There's groping involved?

Eight page conspiracy - I don't know where you were if you've never read this. Read every Tomapi fic she has here.

Kissing? - I've just realized that she also posted a Pi-nuki icon in one of her entries. Now I feel guilty for leaving comments on her page! She probably thought I stole it from her...Eep.

No title - It's cute. Also, cycles, it never got finished but the premise was awesome.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened - Sad.

People are strange when you're a stranger - Sadder.

Not forgetting - Here's to half their lives of friendship.

Infinity's end - Toma would do anything to help a friend.

Toma birthday drabbles - Toma/Everyone

No title - LOL. Akira and Shuchi - GRRR. I want to finish this. *grabby hands* WANT!

Toma drabble - TomaPi/TomaShun/TomaMatsuJun

The art of purchase - Yamapi hates shopping with Toma.

Sparkling diamonds - Maybe you can find the best things in pubs.

Untitled - Toma as Mr. X

The spaces in a body - I should tell you, I should tell you.

The Cult of Dolce and Gabbana - HAHAHAHAHAHAAH. And I thought Toma sports Tommy. And Silly Pi, if that Kurosagi scene is to be trusted, D&G supports nothing. Nothing.

Another day at the office - TomaGURI. Just because Toma is more concerned of being killed by MatsuJun than not debuting.

Chance - It's Tomapi if you squint really, really hard.

5 ways Toma gets to debut - squint!

Decadence is Godly - So very, very strange.

Untitled - Smut.

Kink - I honestly, honestly LAUGHED so hard at this and I don't know why, Gad. It's seriously...Wrong? TomaPin.

You got served - Squint!

This - Because she goes crazy and write fics sometimes. *my cue to run like hell*

Half our lives - HUG! And You never have to be alone

Oh what nice arms you have, Yamapi - Is actually a locked fic?

Pink Teddy Bears - Sigh.

FoodSmut - I don't know what's with TomaPin's but I always find it hilarious. The scenerio's will never work out in real life.

Hurrrm....Yeah.. - Smut?

Paramour - Because Toma is HOT. HOT. HOT. HOT. HOT. *andsexsexsexsexsex*

Yeah, so okay, i'm waaay too tired to bother with the rest, i'm sure you can find the others in the usual comms. We seriously need more Tomapi fics. Anyone out there willing to write?

Also,. Pimp me an undiscovered TOMAPI fic PLEASE! I BEG YOU!

Here, have an orphan!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Tomapi: Drabbles 1

Sorry guys, i've never been so LAZY in my life. I have no drive for anything!!


Ikuta Toma smiled fondly at the scene which greeted him.
Yamahita Tomohisa was asleep, naked underneath the soft, comfortable blanket Toma uses to cover their bed. He nudged his lover awake.
“Hey sleepy-head.” He whispered softly, careful not to surprise the sleeping man. Yamapi opened his eyes, yawned, and then snuggled back inside the warm comforter.
“Five more minutes?” an almost childish voice said from under the covers.
Toma leaned down at the bundled figure and dropped a soft kiss on its temple. “Missed me?”
Yamapi nodded, "It's boring without you."


And so they found themselves naked in bed.
“This is all your fault.” Toma accused the person beside.
Yamapi shifted then whimpered as mind-boggling pain hit his entire body. “Ow!”
Toma peeked under the white sheets again before he closed his eyes, “Please tell me this is a dream. Please.”
“Toma why does it hurt?!” His best friend demanded, “This is all your fault!"
“O..Oi! It is not! I was drunk!”
“So was I!”
Toma slapped Yamapi’s arm, “Well I told you to cut your hair!”
Pi snorted, “Like your hair is any better!”


Your breath hitches as he inches closer and like a virgin; you start to lick your suddenly dry lips and pretend that you know what you are doing when you really don’t. Girls are already hard enough as it is, boys, you realize now, are even harder. You blush when he carefully removes your robe and you watch as it pools in your feet. You suddenly feel cold and very much naked but his eyes never left yours, he touches your naked torso and you close your eyes not because you are terrified but because you don’t want him to see how nervous you are.

Don’t be nervous, he tells you, his breath warm on your neck, I’ll be careful. You feel your face turn 12 different shades of red at the connotation of his words and at the back of your mind; you have an image of yourself looking like a swollen ripe tomato. You shake your head no and deny the too obvious fact. I’m not nervous.

He gives you the smile you love so much, the one which makes your heart beat fast and your breath shallow and you feel 18 all over again, in front of your first girlfriend, your first lover. But the person in front of you now is no girl; it’s a different kind of first this time, a really different kind of first time.


He leaned close and pressed a kiss on Toma's temple.
His best friend raised an eyebrow, "What was that for?"
Yamapi smiled, "Nothing, you're just special."

Saturday, May 30, 2009

{Video} Ikuta Toma on 5dlk

Notes: LOW QUALITY! My knowledge of Japanese is like, 6 units so basically, I am bad at it. Some are hardly accurate but more or less have the same thought. I used rough translations for the most part.

Lesson to self: Never sub again.

Download link

Thursday, May 28, 2009

{Video} Yamapi-making of TBC

Credits to newshfan@LJ

Notes: Gad, Pi looks like a WOMAN!

In which I actually update!

I feel as if I haven't updated in years! How's everyone?
Just click on the image to see it. I'm too lazy to correct. ol

Friday, May 22, 2009

{Video} Yamapi VTR on 5ldk

Credits to newshfan@lj!

Notes: OH SHUCKS! I LOVE LOVE Higa Manami and Ikuta Toma together! TomaMi ftw! They're actually cuter than ToMaki! Anyway, Pi looks adorable!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

{Video} Yamada and Chinen on School Kakumei 5/17/09

Credits to newshfan@lj

Notes: GAD. I'm not a big fan of hey say choir but I am however, quite fond of Chinen and this, THIS! Is just hilarious! I honestly don't think he knows what he's saying!

Monday, May 18, 2009

{Video} Ueda Tatsuya on SCP

Credits to newshfan@lj

Notes: I LOVE THIS INTERVIEW. I don't know why but I simply love UEDA. LOL, and I keep updating because...Just because?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

{Video} Koyama and Massu on Ohayo Asahi desu

Credits to newshfan@lj

Notes: OUUUGAD! BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL! I'm sorry I missed it! Anyway, moving on, apparently, Kame is a suicidal bitch who sexed up everyone in the recent KATTUN concertS. I am jealous! WHY?! OH WHY CAN'T I BE THERE WHY!?! I have made up my mind to be there next year! I don't care if I don't have visa and will go via illegal entry! I wanna see Kame and Ueda! (And Jin too I guess...and the rest of the group..)

Look what I found!

Lol. Well, I always did like her so I don't really care. She's cute!

And Shige looks like A HOT KISSER GODDANGIT!! I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON WHY I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH! I wonder what Kei thinks....

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

{JE gossip} TOMAMOVIE plus TegoJin

Well, this is old news but YAY! Wow for Toma, barely 2 years of acting and already a protagonist in a movie. BEATS YAMAPI anyday! I'm so happy for this guy! Now all I need is another quickie slash passionate night with wifey Pi and all is well in my world. Hey, I may even start flailing again!!

Toma: Pi! I got my first movie role!
Pi: Yay! *kisses Toma*

Toma: Yay! *kisses back*

*another passionate night jweb entry which kill us fangirls*

Also, TegoJin rumors are AWESOME! So much win! It actually made me forget about Kame's tranny escapades for 2 seconds! Oh Jingoshi, never leave me. *teary eyes* I want a mud wrestle between the two to determine the higher slut! I'm totally voting for Jin's powerful hips!....Then again, Tegoshi does have a phallic mouth. Gad, choices, choices.

Tego: You hips might be sluttier but my mouth is wider!
Jin: Fuck you! Unlike your hips, my mouth can fit a lot!

Dramas: Majo Saiban is beyond amazing. I now want that "Think twice" shirt in blue. I want one Toma worn! If I can't have the shirt, I want the Tommy Hilfigher briefs/boxers. I would totally frame it. Really. I even want his bracelets. Actually, I just want Toma. Yeah,...that's about it. Also, I am loving the witch. I want to be her.

AtaDan is LOVE. Ougad, I wonder why i'm so obsessed with Horikita Maki. Everything she does will always be amazing to me. My lesbian tendencies reach new heights everytime she so much as blinks. Then again, I hate her for always being surrounded by GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS men! Hmph.

EDIT: Apparently, Toma is going to appear in 5LDK on May 21st and Yamapi is the VTR. (I don't know for who though, since Tokyo is also there.) BUT YAY! Ougad, TomaPi are everywhere! What's happening?!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

TomaPi drabbles...I think.

Lol. A friend kindly directed me to a website called drabble-matic

These are the results. LOL.

The Miracle Of The Raccoon

Toma hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a dying man gasping for air. He loathed it.

Every December, Toma would feel himself getting all aflame inside. He refused to put up a Christmas shirt, he snapped at anyone lucky enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Toma had to go to the mall to buy a pregnant teddy. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing sexily around and so much Christmas music blaring huskily, he thought his thighs would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a glowing man collecting for charity. Toma never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the glowing man dropped his bells and ran on the bed. There was a shocked raccoon right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the glowing man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Toma rushed out and boldly pushed them both out of the way. There was a painful bang and then everything went dark.

When Toma woke up, he was in a perfect room. There was a Christmas shirt in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Toma's neck hurt. A lot.

The glowing man came into the room. "I'm so handsome!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Yamapi. You saved me from the truck. But your neck is broken."

Toma hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas shirt up and his neck was broken, he felt quite creepy, especially when he looked at Yamapi.

"Your neck must hurt beautifully," Yamapi said. "I think this will help." And he licked Toma several times.

Now Toma felt very creepy indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Yamapi. "I love you," he said, and kissed Yamapi hotly.

"I love you too," said Yamapi. Just then, the raccoon ran into the room and nuzzled Toma's chest. "I brought him home with us," Yamapi said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Toma said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

Lucky Lang Syne

Toma sipped boldly at his drink and stood lucky behind a pants. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel aflame and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how glowing his thighs got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Toma knew very well why he was at the party: to see Yamapi.

Ah, Yamapi. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his shocked neck made Toma's heart beat like a dying man gasping for air.

But tonight everyone was masked. Toma peered huskily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Yamapi. There, he thought, the man over by the shirt, the pregnant one with the racoon mask. It had to be Yamapi. No one else could look so handsome, even in a raccoon mask.

He began to walk Toma's way and Toma started to panic. What if he actually talked to Toma?

Yamapi came right up to Toma and Toma thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Yamapi said sexily. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the teddy," Toma said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so perfect.

Just then, a creepy voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Toma's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Yamapi might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Yamapi swept Toma into his arms, bent him on the bed, and kissed Toma hotly, slipping him the tongue and groping his chest.

Toma could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out beautifully and pulled Yamapi's mask off his face. It was Yamapi! "I knew it was you," Toma said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Yamapi said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Toma watched him go. He would be right back, Toma was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

I'm Dreaming Of A Pregnant Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Toma sat huskily on the bed, sipping lucky eggnog.

He looked at the glowing shirt hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Yamapi had hung it there, just before they looked at each other beautifully and then fell into each other's arms and licked each other's thighs.

If only I hadn't been so shocked, Toma thought, pouring a aflame amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Yamapi might not have got so painful and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a perfect tear and held his neck in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a handsome voice lifted sexily up in song.

I'm dreaming of a pregnant Christmas

Just like a dying man gasping for air

Toma ran to the door. It was Yamapi, looking creepy all over with snow.

"I missed you boldly," Yamapi said. "And I wanted to lick your thighs again."

Toma hugged Yamapi and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Yamapi said.

"I think so too," Toma said and they licked each other's thighs until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted raccoon chest and lived hotly until Toma got drunk again.

Sexily Tripping

Toma tripped along boldly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Yamapi, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a raccoon hopping along, carrying a shirt in its mouth.

Toma was almost on the bed when he came across a pregnant cake, lying alone on a handsome plate. "That must be a treat from my shocked bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked lucky, so he ate it.

It gave him the most painful tingling sensation in his thighs. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Yamapi.

When Yamapi came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Toma cried beautifully.

"Your neck! And your chest!" Yamapi said. "They're creepy! Can't you feel it?"

Toma felt his neck and his chest. They were indeed quite creepy. "Oh, no!" Toma said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that pregnant cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Yamapi said. "I got you a teddy. It must have been that glowing man who lives nearby. He acts a little hotly, ever since he licked a pants."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Toma sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Yamapi said huskily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your neck is really perfect like that."

"Really?" Toma dried her tears. Toma kissed Yamapi and it was an entirely aflame sensation, like a dying man gasping for air.

They spent the night having entirely aflame sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

A Glowing Day To Lick

Toma stepped beautifully out into the pregnant sunshine, and admired Yamapi's thighs. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a painful sight."

Yamapi climbed off the pants and walked hotly across the grass to greet his lover. Toma patted Yamapi on the chest and then tried to lick him boldly, but without success.

"That's all right," Yamapi said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not creepy," Toma. "Not as creepy as the time we licked on the bed."

Yamapi nodded sexily. "We were perfect back in those days."

"Our necks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Toma said. "Everything seems aflame and lucky when you're young."

"Of course," Yamapi said. "But now we're shocked, we can still have fun. If we go about it huskily."

"Huskily?" Toma said . "But how?"

"With this," Yamapi said and held out a handsome teddy. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to lick."

Toma swallowed the teddy at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to lick huskily. They licked like a dying man gasping for air. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

Monday, May 11, 2009

{Video} Kanjani8 - Ryo and Yoko waterfalls

Credits to newshfan@lj

{Video} Code Blue on Mezamashi

Credits to newshfan@lj

Notes: Honestly, during the part where Yamapi was like, "some things ae best kept in the family" he had this GAY LOOK on his face. I can't describe it, so.... GHEI. And MY GAD! CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TEACH GAKKY TO SPEAK FASTER?!!

{Video} Yamapi on Chubaw

Credits to newshfan@lj

Notes: In recent news, Yamapi was seen at a DBSK concert with his sister! Whoa. Is he checking the moves or checking the boys? Either way, I AM SO HAPPY WHEN FANDOM COLLIDES! My dream of a HEEPI (Hee ChulXYamapi) pairing is slowly coming true! Granted, Hee Chul isn't exactly DBSK but YAY! TOTALLY GETTING THERE!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

{YT} TomaJun!


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{Video} Yamapi on Shounen Club-Mola

Credits to Watchful21@lj

Notes: Talk segment is the usual, Koyama asking good memories and Yamapi saying "it's hot" and everyone thought he was going to take off his blazer but he didn't. (DANGIT!) But OUGAD, the performance was sizzling. Totally lipsnyching and all that but it's Yamapi, I CAN TOTALLY FORGIVE HIM FOR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING (but hurting Toma) AND HIS HAIR! IT's GORGEOUS!

In which I emo!~ and Tomapi rabu!

Tomapi: Pi-chan is so girly!

Wow. It feels so long ago since I last posted something that's not a video. I don't know what came over me why I suddenly started posting vids instead of fanfics. (okay, so I had TOO MANY DOWNLOADS and no more computer storage so I had to do something) Well, anyway, I don't actually know if there are people viewing my uploads so if there are, leave me a shoutout/comment or what. I don't really need it but it would be nice to know if there are those who look forward to me posting JE vids.

I usually get my source from (In case you want to know)

So I heard about the latest Tomapi rabu-rabu.

LOL. Aren't they the gayest?!

They make me so happy that any picture of them together automatically makes my life so much brighter! I've never seen two people SO IN LOVE! Seriously guys! You have to agree with me on this!

Yamapi + NEWS = Pokerface.
Yamapi + Jin = End of the world.
Yamapi + Ryo = Boring.
Yamapi + Girls = Eew. Het?! (Horikittie is a guy!)
Yamapi + Toma = Lovestruck Pi. *nods solemnly* TRUE LOVE.

{Video} Yamapi on Vanilla Kibun -Code Blue

Credits to newshfan@lj

Thursday, May 7, 2009

{Video} Ikuta Toma on Shin Domoto Kyoudai

Notes: Thanks to the subbers? (No idea who, so sorry!)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Friday, May 1, 2009

{Video} NEWS on Music Station 5/01/09

Credits to newshfan@lj

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

{Video} V6 Gakkou e Ikkou- Test of courage

Credits to newshfan@lj