Monday, October 20, 2008

Johnny's Entertainment

For those who has never heard of Johnny's entertainment or his BOYS, MY hats off to you. It can only mean that you are still as pure as white snow and as untouched as North Pole.  

But nevertheless, let me give you a background information about JE. It is the sole, surviving gay institute of Japan. If you insist that "No, they're straight!" or "Duh, they're just really close", then WAKE UP. A building full of hot, sweaty, sexy MEN touching each other, hugging each other, kissing each other, molesting each other.... There is no chance that they're ALL straight, Some of them might be of course.. (I can't think of anyone as of the moment but I know someone HAS TO BE....Even if it turns out to be TAKKI.)  

So what is it with Johnny and his boys?  

Simple: Great marketing strategy. Johnny's holds EVERYBODY. (translation: Watch MAOU)  

Of course, it helps that MOST of them have hips made of slinky and faces perfected with surgery.  
Let me give you a few of my favorite molested boys.  

Who better to start with than the person at the top? 

No, not KimuTaku...As much as he is well loved, he isn't as controversial as I want him to be.  

Akanishi Jin-Or, better known as Bakanishi. Jin and I have this love-hate relationship wherein one moment I cannot stand him but I can't help myself when he does his hip rolling thing. I finally realized that what I love about him is his SLUTTY-ness. (And the fact that his "baka-ness" status allowed him leeway to say all the mean things he wants and GET AWAY WITH IT!) I love the fact that he thrusts his hips at anyone and EVERYONE dead, alive, inanimate or in coma. I like to amuse myself and think that Jins' main purpose in life is to sleep with everyone in JE. *coughKamecough*  

Kamenazhi Kazuya-You know what they say, "Never judge a man by his eyebrows." In Kame's case...We can't really help but judge. But you have to understand, the guy has a complex. Have you seen his old UNPLUCKED brows? You'd think it was part of his hair. I don't really think he's gay, *yeahright!* more like...Confused. He doesn't understand that he's supposed to be a guy. People usually pair him with Jin but the way I see it...I don't even think they speak to each other...*coughKoKameshippercough*  

Yamashita Tomohisa-My own personal LOVE. But believe it or not, I am not blind to his faults. I may be blinded by his uber-big (are those lactating?) manboobs and slappable tushy but I am quite aware that he has faults...I can't name anything as of the moment....Anyway, Yamapi is gay. Yes. Gay. Why? Because I say he is. How valid is my word? Not valid at all. But I still maintain that he's gay. I only need to see him act around Ikuta Toma for my gaydar to start acting up. *insertpicturetoidentifytruelove*

Nishikido Ryo- The Poison tongue. He is not as evil as he seems. Well, at least not evil enough for me. I personally think he's just... Uncomfortable around people, especially, those he think are a lot better than him. (No, not Ueda!) This guy has a major case of PMS. Either that or he's just plain bipolar. I mean come on! He is so scary at times yet can be sweet. He's manly then he does things that are girly(er) than Ueda curling HER hair.*watchNewSconcertstounderstandwhatImean*

Matsumoto Jun- Kami-sama! Have you guys seen this guy walk?! This is the prince of JE. (No, not really..) He's a great actor. Gorgeous! He can look girly yet act tough. Or he can look manly and act gay. Sometimes I think MatsuJun doesn't even know who he is. He just knows that he's "high up there." And he acts like it. But of course, what I love about this guy is that while he shines alone. He doesn't shine so much when he's with ARASHI. (probably because they all shine) I also love the fact that he's well...a big permed dork. 

Ikuta Toma-There was a time when I thought that when it comes to crying, Yamapi is number one in JE. Until I saw this guy cry. ASDF! ASDD!(*#E)(#()!!! My poor little Toma-kun!!! I love Toma. Not that same way I love Yamapi (like: KYAA! YAMAPI-SAMA!!! KISS ME!) it's more of..."TOMA-kun! KAWAII!!" People may disagree with me but I think that he's MANLIER than YAMAPI. And THAT is the NUMBER ONE reason why he's NUMBER TWO in my heart.*tomapishippercough*

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Tomapi: Essence of a woman

Summary: What if Yamapi turns into a woman?

A/N: I need a Tomapi fic quick! I am so obsessed with this pairing that I took it upon myself to write a fanfiction about them for my own amusement. I seriously need more TomaPi fics to read!!! 


Ikuta Toma supposed he shouldn’t hope for anything. After all, it’s been months since his so-called best friend had made any effort to contact him. On the other hand, it wasn’t like he made any move to repair their now shredded friendship. Toma really wanted to, but really, what could be more awkward than what happened between them? Could they really still be friends? He sighed and erased all the messages in his answering machine.


“Happy birthday Pi.”




Yamashita Tomohisa smiled for the cameras. He was tired and honestly speaking, he couldn’t bear to do anymore fan service for the day. He felt like his and Nishikido Ryo’s face had been joined for the last 20 or so hours. “Couldn’t they just Photoshop us together!?” He wondered as he felt Ryo’s forehead on his shoulder.  Yamapi closed his eyes.


“Where are you now?”




She hated him. Hated him beyond words. Beyond life! Beyond anything! She wished him ill. She wished him bad luck. And most of all, she wished he was in her position. 


“I use people to be popular huh?” Abiru Yuu thought as she watch him play kissy faces with the sexy Osaka man on TV.  “Just you wait Yamashita Tomohisa.” She opened her big black book and started chanting while stirring whatever it was inside the large cauldron.


She cackled.


“You’ll regret what you said about me.”




Yamapi pressed the button of his answering machine again and repeated each and every message he received. Nothing. He stared at it for a few seconds, willing for it to beep and by some miracle, he’d receive a message from Toma.




He rubbed his forehead and laughed at himself. “Why don’t you just call him stupid. It wasn’t as if you did it on purpose! It was a one-time thing! Both of us were drunk! I’m sure he’s forgotten it by now.” Yamapi took off his shirt and climbed on his bed, he was really, really, really tired. He couldn’t even come up with the proper sentences during the music station interview earlier. His cell phone beeped.




“Happy birthday to me.” He spoke softly to himself. He remembered the same day last year, Toma had surprise him in his apartment at exactly midnight, fat chance of that happening now.


Yamapi turned to his side. “I wish I was a girl” was his last thought before he fell asleep.




He woke up feeling groggy and sweaty. Why was his back so hot? He remembered turning on the air conditioner but for some reason, he felt strangely uncomfortable. Yamapi opened his eyes, he moaned, “too bright”. He wondered why there was a lock of long wavy hair nestled in his chest as he tried to scratch himself.


He checked.


And stilled.



Peeked under his boxers.






“WHAT THE HELL?!!! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE HELL!” Yamapi thought as he walked round and round and round his room. He already did everything from praying to slapping himself silly and still he was not waking up. He looked at himself in his life size mirror and groaned.


“It’s a dream Tomohisa! A dream! You do not have boobs. You have no boobs. You’re just dreaming. D R E A M I N G!” He chanted over and over. He peeked under his boxers again.


Nothing hanging.


“Oh come on! Come on! Give it back! I need it back! Where is IT?!!” He flipped his hair over his shoulder, not noticing how shiny and beautiful it actually is when hit by the sunlight. The now girly Yamapi sat on his bed and reached for his phone. “Jin! I’ll call Jin!” he thought excitedly, then impulsively threw his phone away. “You can’t call Bakanishi! Are you kidding me?!” his conscience berated him, “Would you really ask help from someone who probably won’t even notice the difference?!”


“Then who will I CALL?!!” Yamapi wailed as he picked up his phone again and searched his phonebook. “Tackey! I can call Tackey!” he muttered,…”Wait, I can’t call Papa! He’s busy with Tsubasa.” He flicked through the other people in his cell phone.


“I know! Ryo! I can call Ryo-chan! He’ll know what to do!”  He started to press the green button when for some reason; his mind remembered the first episode of last friends. “Anyone but Ryo-chan!”


There was absolutely no way he was going to call him. No! Dame! Nothing doing! Hell no! I mean, he can handle this on his own right? It’s probably just a dream. It’s just a dream so it’s all right to have real boobs and no ….no… thing.


“But if it’s a dream, then it’s alright to call him right?” His head started answering him, “If it’s a dream, then you can make amends and everything will be alright.”


“But what if it’s not a dream?” Yamapi whispered brokenly to himself, “I don’t want him to hate me.”


“Yamashita Tomohisa, just GO! You need him more than anyone else at this moment!”


Yamapi grabbed a shirt, his car keys and ran out of his apartment. May Kami-sama help him.




Ikuta Toma opened his eyes. Was that the doorbell? Who on earth would be visiting him at…He checked his clock.




He stood up from his bed and tried to find a shirt. The visitor was persistent. “HAI! HAI! Coming!” He said, giving up on looking for a shirt. Whoever it was will just have to accept the fact that he was wearing nothing but a sponge bob boxer shorts.


He opened the door. And found himself faced to faced with one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen in his life.


She was a doll. What else could she be?  Porcelain skin, long dark wavy hair, pink cheeks.


Toma noticed her eyes, the way they look familiar to him, the way those impossibly long eyelashes seem to haunt him. He stared as the girl pursed her lips and started crying. He watched as her eyelashes seem to sweep over her smooth pink cheek and a plump tear rolled down to her chin.


He also noticed one thing; she was wearing nothing but plain white shirt, which showed everything and skimpy boxer shorts, which does not even fit her amazingly small hips.


“Da…Daijoubu?” He asked, careful not to look anywhere below her face.


“Toma-kun! Taskette!” The girl wailed before launching herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and sobbing at his chest.