Sunday, February 22, 2009

Because my life is so obviously fail


(कटन?)


When I flew over at my dad's during the valentine's weekend (separated parents), an old (and pregnant) friend invited me to a food-tasting event held in one of those fancy hotels in the city. Of course, I, thinking that since it's valentines, automatically assumed that it's going to be filled with cakes and pastries and as you already guessed, I said yes.

And boy, was I surprised.

I have never seen so many pregnant women in my life.

Turns out, it was a food-tasting event for BABY FOOD. (Damn you Witch! Your baby better be named after me!)

And so, after about three hundred denials consisting of "No, i'm not pregnant" and "No, I did not get pregnant out of wedlock." I finally managed to get past the 20 or so mothers who keep on insisting that I touch their bellies because that's how mine will supposedly end up 6 months from now , (Damn you Witch!) and I ended up beside a woman (teenager) so pretty she could have been an angel. (Pregnancy suits her)

"Have you seen a girl with a pink head band?" I asked her, looking around trying to find MY friend.
"No. So how many months along are you?" She smiled, "You look like you're my age."
"Uh...I'm not pregnant. I'm just here to accompany someone." I answered, all but trying to get away because really, this is the pits. But NOOOO. She just had to start a conversation and I can't exactly ignore her because she's pregnant and well...She's pregnant.

"I see, did you taste this?" She handed me her cup of some weird brown stuff which I will never be able to name. Ever.
I looked at the thing... "No. Can't say I have. Nice?"
She made a face. "Disgusting. I'm craving for sushi. I watched this drama called Sushi Oji. It was funny."

Of course, with an opening like that. Did she really expect me to NOT follow through?!

Me: OMGOD!! DOMOTO KOICHI?!!
Her: OMGOD!! YES!! You like Jdramas?!
Me: OMGOD!! YES!! You?!
Her: OMGOD!! YES!!

So after about 2 minutes of flailing and KYAA! Domyouji! And KYAAA!!! Nakatsu! And KYAAA *insert random Japanese guys in general*!

Her: My absolute favorite is YUKAN Club! So funny!
Me: .....huh?
Her: You never watched it?! MOGOD! Like watch it! Watch it! I can totally lend you the dvd! Can I have your number? I'm Leslie by the way.
Me: No... No.. I've watched it... Just that... Really? Yukan club?
Her: Well duh! AKANISHI IS HOT!!!!!!!!

Let's just say that after that I just...Didn't have the braincells to argue.

Me: I love Yamapi!!!

And for some reason, she started laughing out loud. I'm serious. She laughed so hard that she kept holding onto her stomach and I was like..

"Are you alright? Please don't give birth here."

Her: Yeah, a friend told me once that a girl burned her house because of Yamapi.
Me: .....Uh ha ha...ha..ha...ha? Eh..Who is this friend? *shifty eyes*
Her: Well, I don't know the girl but I guess my friend does. She's like, obsessed with YamaPi and all.
Inner Me:. Don't be paranoid. It's not you. It's not you. There's a big difference between kitchen and house. It's not you.
Her: So, i never did get your name? Mine's Leslie. I'm married to a Japanese guy, that's how I got into jdramas/jpop.
Me: Nice to meet you. My name's Cor...vin... *insert "it's my grandma's name" excuse.*

Etc. Etc. Etc. So now, I made a new friend. (Who doesn't know my ACTUAL name and who i've confirmed, has no LJ account! So HAH! It's not me!)

All was well and good, (even though I had to force down disgusting baby food) but they had cold milo so I managed to finish about 10 cups of that.

In fact, I rather enjoyed it. The only bad thing about the entire event was this mother who started lactating and asked me to help her stuff her boobies with tissue. But i'm sure nobody wants to hear about that so I won't elaborate.

When I got home, my dad eyed my free "For your baby package", (With baby powder, oil, shampoo and all.) and asked me to sit down the table.

"Is there something I should know about?"

"Sighs."

In any case, if anyone's looking for me, i'm hiding under a rock.

5 comments:

huimingluv said...

omigosh!! this post is so funny i had to comment!lol the world is so small eh? hahas she must be an akanishi fan ne@.@ lol does she know about je? i wonder if married woman still fangirl>.<

anyway u rock c0rin! continue to post more stuff, i will be stalking at ur blog everyday^^

c0rin said...

Lol. Are you kidding? She lives, eats, smells JE. She has all the DVD's it's almost creepy!

Thanks?

shingung said...

c0rin..that was some post..and i was like...will the pregnant teener detailed about the yamapi fan who burned her house...

but still i love reading your posts..

and my guess its because she married to a japanese guy so she that maybe the reason she eats, smells and live JE..

on the other hand..should i say Congratulations?

shingung said...

congratulations for surviving all of that experience...

theonlydoda said...

haha! corin! i was laughing like hell when the girl asked said a girl almost burn the house down bcus of jap guy. haha! i remember how you elobarate those things i was like what!? LOL! i even told my parents about it. so how's your hair? LOL. omg. the situation must had published in the newspaper! haha!