In which I ponder about things...

Proof that Yamapi kisses better when it's a guy. *nods*
Okay, so maybe Aiba was doing most of the work but at least Yamapi responds.

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY MAN-BITCH!

This guy will step all over Nishikido Ryo's snarky face, decapitate him, castrate him all the while humming "Care."
Never have I met anyone so BITCHY that he makes me shiver with excitement. I love him. Oh Hee Chul, I aspire to be you. (My life aspirations are lower than a bug's. It's what makes me special! *beams*)

I don't think there's anymore turning back now that i'm all over Kpop-fandom. I can even name around 5 SuJu members! (isn't this exciting?!) I feel so accomplished my parents would be proud of me! Of course, the only thing keeping me from jumping from joy was the knowledge that despite the fact that I don't know a single HeySeyJump song, I can at least name the members.

Sad really. I know a lot of SuJu songs since 2006 and yet I couldn't tell them apart until recently! (In my defense, they ALL look alike, it took me months to tell apart DBSK's YooChun from JunSu!)

{Video} Ikuta Toma on 5dlk

Notes: LOW QUALITY! My knowledge of Japanese is like, 6 units so basically, I am bad at it. Some are hardly accurate but more or less have the same thought. I used rough translations for the most part.

Lesson to self: Never sub again.

Download link

{Video} Yamapi VTR on 5ldk

Credits to newshfan@lj!

Notes: OH SHUCKS! I LOVE LOVE Higa Manami and Ikuta Toma together! TomaMi ftw! They're actually cuter than ToMaki! Anyway, Pi looks adorable!

TomaPi drabbles...I think.

Lol. A friend kindly directed me to a website called drabble-matic

These are the results. LOL.

The Miracle Of The Raccoon

Toma hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a dying man gasping for air. He loathed it.

Every December, Toma would feel himself getting all aflame inside. He refused to put up a Christmas shirt, he snapped at anyone lucky enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Toma had to go to the mall to buy a pregnant teddy. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing sexily around and so much Christmas music blaring huskily, he thought his thighs would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a glowing man collecting for charity. Toma never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the glowing man dropped his bells and ran on the bed. There was a shocked raccoon right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the glowing man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Toma rushed out and boldly pushed them both out of the way. There was a painful bang and then everything went dark.

When Toma woke up, he was in a perfect room. There was a Christmas shirt in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Toma's neck hurt. A lot.

The glowing man came into the room. "I'm so handsome!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Yamapi. You saved me from the truck. But your neck is broken."

Toma hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas shirt up and his neck was broken, he felt quite creepy, especially when he looked at Yamapi.

"Your neck must hurt beautifully," Yamapi said. "I think this will help." And he licked Toma several times.

Now Toma felt very creepy indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Yamapi. "I love you," he said, and kissed Yamapi hotly.

"I love you too," said Yamapi. Just then, the raccoon ran into the room and nuzzled Toma's chest. "I brought him home with us," Yamapi said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Toma said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.
---

Lucky Lang Syne

Toma sipped boldly at his drink and stood lucky behind a pants. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel aflame and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how glowing his thighs got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Toma knew very well why he was at the party: to see Yamapi.

Ah, Yamapi. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his shocked neck made Toma's heart beat like a dying man gasping for air.

But tonight everyone was masked. Toma peered huskily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Yamapi. There, he thought, the man over by the shirt, the pregnant one with the racoon mask. It had to be Yamapi. No one else could look so handsome, even in a raccoon mask.

He began to walk Toma's way and Toma started to panic. What if he actually talked to Toma?

Yamapi came right up to Toma and Toma thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Yamapi said sexily. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the teddy," Toma said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so perfect.

Just then, a creepy voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Toma's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Yamapi might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Yamapi swept Toma into his arms, bent him on the bed, and kissed Toma hotly, slipping him the tongue and groping his chest.

Toma could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out beautifully and pulled Yamapi's mask off his face. It was Yamapi! "I knew it was you," Toma said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Yamapi said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Toma watched him go. He would be right back, Toma was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.
---


I'm Dreaming Of A Pregnant Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Toma sat huskily on the bed, sipping lucky eggnog.

He looked at the glowing shirt hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Yamapi had hung it there, just before they looked at each other beautifully and then fell into each other's arms and licked each other's thighs.

If only I hadn't been so shocked, Toma thought, pouring a aflame amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Yamapi might not have got so painful and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a perfect tear and held his neck in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a handsome voice lifted sexily up in song.

I'm dreaming of a pregnant Christmas

Just like a dying man gasping for air

Toma ran to the door. It was Yamapi, looking creepy all over with snow.

"I missed you boldly," Yamapi said. "And I wanted to lick your thighs again."

Toma hugged Yamapi and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Yamapi said.

"I think so too," Toma said and they licked each other's thighs until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted raccoon chest and lived hotly until Toma got drunk again.
---

Sexily Tripping

Toma tripped along boldly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Yamapi, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a raccoon hopping along, carrying a shirt in its mouth.

Toma was almost on the bed when he came across a pregnant cake, lying alone on a handsome plate. "That must be a treat from my shocked bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked lucky, so he ate it.

It gave him the most painful tingling sensation in his thighs. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Yamapi.

When Yamapi came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Toma cried beautifully.

"Your neck! And your chest!" Yamapi said. "They're creepy! Can't you feel it?"

Toma felt his neck and his chest. They were indeed quite creepy. "Oh, no!" Toma said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that pregnant cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Yamapi said. "I got you a teddy. It must have been that glowing man who lives nearby. He acts a little hotly, ever since he licked a pants."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Toma sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Yamapi said huskily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your neck is really perfect like that."

"Really?" Toma dried her tears. Toma kissed Yamapi and it was an entirely aflame sensation, like a dying man gasping for air.

They spent the night having entirely aflame sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.
---

A Glowing Day To Lick

Toma stepped beautifully out into the pregnant sunshine, and admired Yamapi's thighs. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a painful sight."

Yamapi climbed off the pants and walked hotly across the grass to greet his lover. Toma patted Yamapi on the chest and then tried to lick him boldly, but without success.

"That's all right," Yamapi said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not creepy," Toma. "Not as creepy as the time we licked on the bed."

Yamapi nodded sexily. "We were perfect back in those days."

"Our necks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Toma said. "Everything seems aflame and lucky when you're young."

"Of course," Yamapi said. "But now we're shocked, we can still have fun. If we go about it huskily."

"Huskily?" Toma said . "But how?"

"With this," Yamapi said and held out a handsome teddy. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to lick."

Toma swallowed the teddy at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to lick huskily. They licked like a dying man gasping for air. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

In which I emo!~ and Tomapi rabu!

Tomapi: Pi-chan is so girly!

Lol.

Wow. It feels so long ago since I last posted something that's not a video. I don't know what came over me why I suddenly started posting vids instead of fanfics. (okay, so I had TOO MANY DOWNLOADS and no more computer storage so I had to do something) Well, anyway, I don't actually know if there are people viewing my uploads so if there are, leave me a shoutout/comment or what. I don't really need it but it would be nice to know if there are those who look forward to me posting JE vids.

I usually get my source from newshfan@livejournal.com (In case you want to know)

So I heard about the latest Tomapi rabu-rabu.

LOL. Aren't they the gayest?!

They make me so happy that any picture of them together automatically makes my life so much brighter! I've never seen two people SO IN LOVE! Seriously guys! You have to agree with me on this!

Yamapi + NEWS = Pokerface.
Yamapi + Jin = End of the world.
Yamapi + Ryo = Boring.
Yamapi + Girls = Eew. Het?! (Horikittie is a guy!)
Yamapi + Toma = Lovestruck Pi. *nods solemnly* TRUE LOVE.

{Video} Ikuta Toma on Shin Domoto Kyoudai

Notes: Thanks to the subbers? (No idea who, so sorry!)

{Video} Ikuta Toma

Anyone knows this show?

{Video} Ikuta Toma on chubaw

Credits to Tomalicious forum@LJ
I only uploaded the part with Yamapi because I am CLEARLY Yamapi biased.

{Video} Ikuta Toma on Waratte Iitomo

Credits to newshfan@lj

{Video} Ikuta Toma on SCP

Credits to Newshfan@LJ,

Thin line

Title: Thin line
Pairing: Yamashita Tomohisa and Ikuta Toma
Genre: Fluff
Rating: G
Summary: Toma doesn't know where they stand.

“Tadaima.” Ikuta Toma smiled fondly at the scene which greeted him.

Yamahita Tomohisa was asleep, naked underneath the soft, comfortable blanket Toma used to cover their bed. He watched the sleeping figure; a sleeping Yamapi is a beautiful Yamapi. His skin glowed in the pale moonlight and his face looked as fragile as a child. Sometimes, Toma feels that his lover is ethereal.

He leaned down at the bundled figure and pressed a soft kiss on its temple.

Except for a soft moan, Toma received no other reaction. He let out a tired sigh then proceeded to remove his clothes and entered the shower stall.

He felt confused.

They have been sleeping together for the past two months and yet not one of them defined their relationship. They weren’t together, together but neither were they just best friends. It was as if they were somewhere in between but no one wants to say it out loud.

It was very frustrating.

He remembered the day well, Yamapi invited to treat him out to a celebratory dinner as congratulations on his new drama. They both came from work and were wearing only jeans and shirts, looking like teenagers on a prowl. Somehow, they ended up on a seaside restaurant in the middle of nowhere and had the time of their lives. It was a fun evening full of running jokes and reminiscing about their Shounen club days while tasting each others’ food and just enjoying each other’s company.

After dinner, they walked along the shoreline and exchanged gossip about Takki’s new favorite, Tegoshi’s love for bananas and something about Jin undergoing brain transplant being the real reason why he went to LA. Toma had pushed Yamapi in the cold water and in return his so –called best friend pulled Toma along with him.

“Mou~! Pi!”

“That’s what you get for attempting to push me!”

Both wet, they laughed about the silliest things like Kanjani8 and goats and how can a starfish stay alive above water and why can’t they eat anything they want without ever getting fat and how life is so unfair because Bakanishi is fat and no one ever cares.

“It’s the hips.”

“I can roll my hips that way too!”

Toma had rolled his eyes and flicked Yamapi’s forehead, “Baka! Everyone loves you.” He remembered saying while he sat on the surprisingly warm sand and patted the space beside him. Yamapi had smiled, took a seat next to him and rested his head on Toma’s shoulder.

“I really am your weakness, aren’t I?” Yamapi asked softly.

“You really are.” He replied, touching his best friend’s cheek. “You really, really are.”

In a moment of insanity, he tilted his head and pressed a soft kiss on Yamapi’s head. His best friend responded by dropping a wet kiss on his shoulder.

“That tickles!” Toma giggled.

“Hmm?”

Yamapi, acting like his old character, Akira, bit his earlobe.

“Kon!”

“Oi!”

Toma had laughed and somehow, they ended up in bed together that night. In a way, he knew that it was a long time coming, they were best friends but they both knew that there was something more there. They just refused to acknowledge it until that night.

Morning came and a sleepy, grumpy Yamapi woke him up complaining about how everything hurts and how Toma was a big bad monster. Toma, on his part, had the audacity to act confused, then look embarrassed as realization dawned.

He stared at his best friend’s blank face. “Do you regret it?”

Yamapi bit his lip, smiled. “I don’t regret doing anything with you.”

Before they knew it, they were living together, sharing Toma’s one bedroom apartment like what most couples do. His bedroom is now littered with Pi’s clothes and Doraemon DVD’s and his bathroom always smelled like rose shampoo. It was an ideal situation and he was happy. Except that he didn’t know what Yamapi felt for him, they’ve discussed every aspect of their relationship except love.

Toma turned off the shower and rubbed himself dry; he donned one of Yamapi’s old, tattered sweatpants before slipping inside the warm covers of his bed. He took a deep breath and leaned close to brush Yamapi’s silky bangs of his face.

“Hey Pi?”

His best friend stirred,.. “…uhgnh?” Sat up, “You’re back!”

Toma’s fingertips touched the face he loved so well, “Why are you with me?” he asked softly, looking into his lovers eyes, “I want to know.”

Yamapi pulled him close and touched their foreheads together, “Isn’t that obvious?” his Tomohisa whispered, smiling into Toma’s troubled eyes, “I’m with you because you’re my weakness too."

Fic bribes?

TOMAPI:

“Hey! Let go!” a newly debuted Yamashita Tomohisa laughed at his best friend, whose hug he enthusiastically returned.

“Iyada!” Toma answered, squeezing tighter. “I haven’t properly seen you in months!”

“Will you please cut the gayness?” Matsumoto Jun glared at them, “You’re making me lose my lunch.” He added as he closed his bento and pushed it away.

His seatmate laughed as he pulled Yamapi to sit next to him. “Leave them alone,” Tackey ruffled Pi’s hair. “They missed each other.” He grinned at Toma, “You guys are always so cute at whatever age.”

Toma laughed as Yamapi took a shrimp from his plate and started stuffing himself. “At least we’re still friends.”

“Eh? We’ll always be friends.” His best friend declared, mouth full of food. “Won’t we?”

“Of course Tomopi!” Toma leaned forward playfully, intending to air kiss Yamapi’s cheek when the guy chose that moment to face him.

“OI!” Jun practically screeched while Tackey looked amused. “Stop being disgusting and disturbing!”

Pi stuck his tongue out at the ARASHI member and continued eating as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened. “It’s okay.” He smiled at the sputtering, incoherent Toma.

YAMAKI:

Yamapi flicked her forehead.

"Ow!" Maki smacked his arm.

He smiled. "Cute." 

She rolled her eyes, "Don't you have anything better to do?" 

Pi pulled her closer to him, "Let's go out on a date." 

RANDOM:

Dr. Aizawa sat down on one of the cafeteria chairs and started on his lunch. The new hospital he was assigned at was understaffed and so far, he already performed 4 surgeries. He had 3 more to do before the day ends. 

"You dropped this." A formal girl approached him and handed over his ID. Her namecard says Yoshikawa Tsurara. 

"Arigatou." He watched the girl leave before he realized why she looked so familiar. A lawyer. The girl is a famous lawyer who specializes in cases involving swindling. He continued eating. 

You're Aizawa right?" A red-head attendant asked him, "My name is Ishizue Ryosuke, i'm supposed to take you to the 6th floor operating room, you can wait here while I fetch Dr. Asou Haruto, he's the specialist." 

Aizawa sighed and finished his lunch. 

My JE experience!

(Too much love!)

Hey guys, since it's the new year, I feel like talking about myself because I feel like i'm starting to seem like a ditz the way I talk and all. Lol. So here are a few things about me in general.  

- For all my talk about NEWS and KATTUN, my fandom is actually ARASHI. Yes. You read that right. ARASHI. After 3 long years of fangirling them, I still can't choose a favorite. I love them all so much I can't even choose WHO to TALK about! I have their dvd's and posters and watched MOST of their shows no matter how weird some of it are because I rarely ever watched an episode which BORED me. (I got bored with CKTtun show.)  

- Yamapi is my ichiban. But I fangirl a lot of people. Just because I don't talk much about him, or post or litter my page with his pictures does not signify that i've lost interest. I love him because everytime I watch NwP. He makes me fall in love with him again and again and again.  

- For all my talk of Yamapi, I have a strong feeling that if i'm ever given the chance to meet him, i'll treat him more as a brother rather than a lover. Because I felt like i've known him for so long that it's almost...incestous. Lol. Which is why i've always said that my obsession with Pi will be determined the moment I meet him!  

- I liked Shige since I saw his new hairstyle in weeek. But no one seem to know him then, it's only lately when I started talking about him. The guy is lovable because he fails so so so so so so much. But man, can he write.  

- Jun-bait was what happened to me. Gokusen 1. The reason I got into JE fandom. Now I don't stay for Jun alone. I stay for all the GAY men in JE! (which means ALL of them)  

- PiKame was the first JE yaoi pairing I ever shipped. Yes. PiKame. NwP. I loved the ending. So so so so much. I still read fanfictions of them together. I can't help it. It was my first JE yaoi love.  

- My OTP is TomaPi. Because I saw Toma in HYD and got interested and learned that he was with Pi in 4tops. Watching their vids, I realized that Pi ALWAYS looked happy beside Toma. He didn't look like a ROBOT and he didn't have what we now call "fisheyes". I believe that Toma is good for Pi. And I hate Johnny for breaking them apart.

- YaMaki is my HET OTP. Because they look good together and they look good for each other!

- KoyaShige makes me "squee" a lot because it makes me think that this should be how TomaPi would be right now!

- NEWS is my 2nd favorite boyband because they are all SMART. (Yes! ALL!) I don't think Kei is as ditzy as he acts, nor do I believe that Massu is stupid or that Shige always fails.... Their interviews make the most sense out of all the JE bands. And they actually give answers which are logical!

- I don't hate KATTUN. Most people think I do but I don't. Life would be so boring without their constant bickerings and slutty-tumes and sheer idiocy. They win at being bad.

- I hate HSJUMP. This is very very very true. I don't hate the members, just the fact that they are all young and looked too ready to do whatever just to make it. I'm scared for them.

- I love: Yamapi, Toma, Tsubasa, Tsuyoshi, Guchi-Maru-Ueda, all of news, Okada-Ken, Taichi-Joshima-Nagase, ARASHI, Ohkura and Kusano Hironori. Yes, Notti.

- I know that JE people can RARELY sing, act, dance, host at the same time, but even when they lack all of those and the looks, they still bait me. Stupid JE packaging.

- I love Ishigaki of Question. I want to feel his hands.

- I could never understand how NEWS costumes look like rags while Kattun costumes look like sluts. News can't even afford proper make-up and hairstylists while Kattun is littered with eyeliners and lipgloss. Plus Jin has really fluffy hair.

- I believe that TEGOSHI is GOD because no one in NEWS is yet to suffocate from their costumes. Except maybe for Shige.

- I don't care what ARASHI wears. They can hold a concert in drag for all I care, i'd still be joining the party.

- And lastly, I have no idea how I managed to stay in fandom for three years. SERIOUSLY.

To the best-est friend in the world!

Sometimes I wonder why I like you,

Sometimes I wonder why I care.

You're all about Jin Bakanishi,

when i'm all about (pink) Yamapi! 

You're the only person in my world, 

who tolerates MatsuJun's singing.

You hate me when I always say.

He's really just ear-raping.

You think KATTUN is wonderful, they all sing fairly well.

Don't know what your standard is, they harmonize like hell.

Arashi is my favorite, at least Ohno can sing and dance.

You laugh at me quite evilly, say, "You're one of their two fans." 

You hated Yamapi's creepy perm.

And I still say you're blind! 

It might look like some Grandma's wig

But it's really quite refined. 

I don't know why I even bother, talking sense to you.

But then I simply realized, fandom's not the same without you. 

At least we agree on something, that SHIGE is quite hot.

That he should pose butt naked, in an AnAn cover shot. 

That Ryo is really pretty, with his Eito renjaa pose.

Tegoshi is phallic, when his mouth opens and close. 

That Aiba is, actually, the original bakanishi.

Kinki kids don't get along, coz one of them is creepy.

We agree that Sakurai Sho should not eat something bitter,

That JE stylists should be fired for blinding us with glitter.

Kei-chan should really just, confess to his best friend. 

We've been waiting forever, we wonder when it'll end.

You think that Toma should debut,

I think the same way too.

We'd die to meet Toma and Pi

Our favorite OTP. 

We might not agree on a lot of things,

but I love you just the same.

Even when you prefer Jin's hips

To Kusano's funny games. 

You'll always be a drama queen, you big attention whore.

I'll always be the sarcastic bitch, who'll never be a bore. 

We're too different it's funny, how do we even get along?

I guess it's one of those life mysteries, they sing about in songs.

So for next year, 2009, let's agree to disagree.

Let's lay our differences aside, and indulge on a shopping spree! 

It's not all in the family

     Like everyone else's families who do not live in Japan. My family does not understand JE. But when I think about it, how could they? JE isn't exactly what you'd call "family friendly." 

     Whenever my brother uses the mac, he gets confused with the wallpaper I use. He thinks Tegoshi is a girl. Actually, he thinks Tegoshi is the same GIRL in Hana Kimi. Which I have to agree, is kind of understandable. Even I think Tegoshi and Maki look alike. He also thinks Massu is like...12 and therefore, his sister (me!) is a PEDO. Well LA-DI-DA! Guess i'm in the same league as the great JOHNNY KITAGAWA himself. (At least we have something in common.) Well, I guess I can be proud of the fact that I never fangirl'd HSJ! Imagine if it was Chinen?! I'd be like... serving sentence by now.  

     My sister cannot understand how Kame is NOT gay. (I never did tell her that Kame is indeed gay. i don't have enough proof!) Considering that she plucks her eyebrows like, every weekend. I get her issues with the turtle. Especially since Kame's eyebrows still look better than hers. Another thing that bothers her are Yamapi's moobs. She thinks it's all PHOTOSHOPPED. Owing to the fact that Yamapi isn't even fat enough to have MOOBS. I personally don't care how those moobies are made. As long as they're connected to Pi's chest and they're NOT LACTATING, I am HAPPY. 

     I fear the day my mother shall ever get to meet KATTUN. I don't think their see-through clothes, dead animals and phallic earrings will convince her that they're wholesome and some of the members probably never had women sex in their lives. So it's not like I even had the chance to miss anything. She doesn't exactly have to worry about my sanity and my taste in men. Or woman. Whatever. The point is, with the way KATTUN dresses, no matter how much I tell her that, "MOM! They're like, totally GHEI!" I doubt she'll ever believe me. 

     My elder brother laughs in my face. Mainly because he caught me watching Arashi in a dress and needless to say, he never let me forget about it. Lesson learned? It's better to be caught watching porn than to be caught watching men in drag. Because apparently, hardcore porn is a hundred times more normal than men in wigs. I'm only thankful it was Arashi and not Kanjani8 in their ranger costumes. I can only imagine what kind of jokes my brother can come up with once he sees Yasu being molested by ...oh, I don't know. The WHOLE band? 

     My friends are a different matter altogether. My bf thinks that Bakanishi is GOD and we should all be a slave to his fat hips. I beg to differ, as much as I like Jin's hip-rolling prowess, I never want to be a slave to that. NOT, when MatsuJun can still do the amazing catwalk he does. 

     A gay friend is totally convinced that Shige slept with all the members of NEWS. Of course, I had to defend law boy and say, "Puhleeze! Shige?! You must be thinking of Tegoshi or Pi!" And he was like:

"Try to notice the way he walks and when he dances and shakes his hips. He was fucked. HARD." 

     To be honest, I still think it's all Koyama's fault. Shige couldn't have slept with the entire band.('cept for Kei) If he did, his hips would have pawned Jin's by now. 

A girl friend THINKS Takky slept with the entire JE management.

You and the rest of the world, sweetie. 

  

Johnny's Entertainment

JOHNNY's ENTERTAINMENT!

For those who has never heard of Johnny's entertainment or his BOYS, MY hats off to you. It can only mean that you are still as pure as white snow and as untouched as North Pole.  

But nevertheless, let me give you a background information about JE. It is the sole, surviving gay institute of Japan. If you insist that "No, they're straight!" or "Duh, they're just really close", then WAKE UP. A building full of hot, sweaty, sexy MEN touching each other, hugging each other, kissing each other, molesting each other.... There is no chance that they're ALL straight, Some of them might be of course.. (I can't think of anyone as of the moment but I know someone HAS TO BE....Even if it turns out to be TAKKI.)  

So what is it with Johnny and his boys?  

Simple: Great marketing strategy. Johnny's holds EVERYBODY. (translation: Watch MAOU)  

Of course, it helps that MOST of them have hips made of slinky and faces perfected with surgery.  

Let me give you a few of my favorite molested boys.  

Who better to start with than the person at the top? 

No, not KimuTaku...As much as he is well loved, he isn't as controversial as I want him to be.  

Akanishi Jin-Or, better known as Bakanishi. Jin and I have this love-hate relationship wherein one moment I cannot stand him but I can't help myself when he does his hip rolling thing. I finally realized that what I love about him is his SLUTTY-ness. (And the fact that his "baka-ness" status allowed him leeway to say all the mean things he wants and GET AWAY WITH IT!) I love the fact that he thrusts his hips at anyone and EVERYONE dead, alive, inanimate or in coma. I like to amuse myself and think that Jins' main purpose in life is to sleep with everyone in JE. *coughKamecough*  

Kamenazhi Kazuya-You know what they say, "Never judge a man by his eyebrows." In Kame's case...We can't really help but judge. But you have to understand, the guy has a complex. Have you seen his old UNPLUCKED brows? You'd think it was part of his hair. I don't really think he's gay, *yeahright!* more like...Confused. He doesn't understand that he's supposed to be a guy. People usually pair him with Jin but the way I see it...I don't even think they speak to each other...*coughKoKameshippercough*  

Yamashita Tomohisa-My own personal LOVE. But believe it or not, I am not blind to his faults. I may be blinded by his uber-big (are those lactating?) manboobs and slappable tushy but I am quite aware that he has faults...I can't name anything as of the moment....Anyway, Yamapi is gay. Yes. Gay. Why? Because I say he is. How valid is my word? Not valid at all. But I still maintain that he's gay. I only need to see him act around Ikuta Toma for my gaydar to start acting up. *insertpicturetoidentifytruelove*

Nishikido Ryo- The Poison tongue. He is not as evil as he seems. Well, at least not evil enough for me. I personally think he's just... Uncomfortable around people, especially, those he think are a lot better than him. (No, not Ueda!) This guy has a major case of PMS. Either that or he's just plain bipolar. I mean come on! He is so scary at times yet can be sweet. He's manly then he does things that are girly(er) than Ueda curling HER hair.*watchNewSconcertstounderstandwhatImean*

Matsumoto Jun- Kami-sama! Have you guys seen this guy walk?! This is the prince of JE. (No, not really..) He's a great actor. Gorgeous! He can look girly yet act tough. Or he can look manly and act gay. Sometimes I think MatsuJun doesn't even know who he is. He just knows that he's "high up there." And he acts like it. But of course, what I love about this guy is that while he shines alone. He doesn't shine so much when he's with ARASHI. (probably because they all shine) I also love the fact that he's well...a big permed dork. 

Ikuta Toma-There was a time when I thought that when it comes to crying, Yamapi is number one in JE. Until I saw this guy cry. ASDF! ASDD!(*#E)(#()!!! My poor little Toma-kun!!! I love Toma. Not that same way I love Yamapi (like: KYAA! YAMAPI-SAMA!!! KISS ME!) it's more of..."TOMA-kun! KAWAII!!" People may disagree with me but I think that he's MANLIER than YAMAPI. And THAT is the NUMBER ONE reason why he's NUMBER TWO in my heart.*tomapishippercough*

Tomapi: Essence of a woman

Summary: What if Yamapi turns into a woman?

A/N: I need a Tomapi fic quick! I am so obsessed with this pairing that I took it upon myself to write a fanfiction about them for my own amusement. I seriously need more TomaPi fics to read!!! 

---

Ikuta Toma supposed he shouldn’t hope for anything. After all, it’s been months since his so-called best friend had made any effort to contact him. On the other hand, it wasn’t like he made any move to repair their now shredded friendship. Toma really wanted to, but really, what could be more awkward than what happened between them? Could they really still be friends? He sighed and erased all the messages in his answering machine.

 

“Happy birthday Pi.”

 

---

 

Yamashita Tomohisa smiled for the cameras. He was tired and honestly speaking, he couldn’t bear to do anymore fan service for the day. He felt like his and Nishikido Ryo’s face had been joined for the last 20 or so hours. “Couldn’t they just Photoshop us together!?” He wondered as he felt Ryo’s forehead on his shoulder.  Yamapi closed his eyes.

 

“Where are you now?”

 

---

 

She hated him. Hated him beyond words. Beyond life! Beyond anything! She wished him ill. She wished him bad luck. And most of all, she wished he was in her position. 

 

“I use people to be popular huh?” Abiru Yuu thought as she watch him play kissy faces with the sexy Osaka man on TV.  “Just you wait Yamashita Tomohisa.” She opened her big black book and started chanting while stirring whatever it was inside the large cauldron.

 

She cackled.

 

“You’ll regret what you said about me.”

 

---

 

Yamapi pressed the button of his answering machine again and repeated each and every message he received. Nothing. He stared at it for a few seconds, willing for it to beep and by some miracle, he’d receive a message from Toma.

 

Nothing.

 

He rubbed his forehead and laughed at himself. “Why don’t you just call him stupid. It wasn’t as if you did it on purpose! It was a one-time thing! Both of us were drunk! I’m sure he’s forgotten it by now.” Yamapi took off his shirt and climbed on his bed, he was really, really, really tired. He couldn’t even come up with the proper sentences during the music station interview earlier. His cell phone beeped.

 

12:01AM.

 

“Happy birthday to me.” He spoke softly to himself. He remembered the same day last year, Toma had surprise him in his apartment at exactly midnight, fat chance of that happening now.

 

Yamapi turned to his side. “I wish I was a girl” was his last thought before he fell asleep.

 

---

 

He woke up feeling groggy and sweaty. Why was his back so hot? He remembered turning on the air conditioner but for some reason, he felt strangely uncomfortable. Yamapi opened his eyes, he moaned, “too bright”. He wondered why there was a lock of long wavy hair nestled in his chest as he tried to scratch himself.

 

He checked.

 

And stilled.

 

…

 

Peeked under his boxers.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

---

 

“WHAT THE HELL?!!! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE HELL!” Yamapi thought as he walked round and round and round his room. He already did everything from praying to slapping himself silly and still he was not waking up. He looked at himself in his life size mirror and groaned.

 

“It’s a dream Tomohisa! A dream! You do not have boobs. You have no boobs. You’re just dreaming. D R E A M I N G!” He chanted over and over. He peeked under his boxers again.

 

Nothing hanging.

 

“Oh come on! Come on! Give it back! I need it back! Where is IT?!!” He flipped his hair over his shoulder, not noticing how shiny and beautiful it actually is when hit by the sunlight. The now girly Yamapi sat on his bed and reached for his phone. “Jin! I’ll call Jin!” he thought excitedly, then impulsively threw his phone away. “You can’t call Bakanishi! Are you kidding me?!” his conscience berated him, “Would you really ask help from someone who probably won’t even notice the difference?!”

 

“Then who will I CALL?!!” Yamapi wailed as he picked up his phone again and searched his phonebook. “Tackey! I can call Tackey!” he muttered,…”Wait, I can’t call Papa! He’s busy with Tsubasa.” He flicked through the other people in his cell phone.

 

“I know! Ryo! I can call Ryo-chan! He’ll know what to do!”  He started to press the green button when for some reason; his mind remembered the first episode of last friends. “Anyone but Ryo-chan!”

 

There was absolutely no way he was going to call him. No! Dame! Nothing doing! Hell no! I mean, he can handle this on his own right? It’s probably just a dream. It’s just a dream so it’s all right to have real boobs and no ….no… thing.

 

“But if it’s a dream, then it’s alright to call him right?” His head started answering him, “If it’s a dream, then you can make amends and everything will be alright.”

 

“But what if it’s not a dream?” Yamapi whispered brokenly to himself, “I don’t want him to hate me.”

 

“Yamashita Tomohisa, just GO! You need him more than anyone else at this moment!”

 

Yamapi grabbed a shirt, his car keys and ran out of his apartment. May Kami-sama help him.

 

----

 

Ikuta Toma opened his eyes. Was that the doorbell? Who on earth would be visiting him at…He checked his clock.

 

7:17AM.

 

He stood up from his bed and tried to find a shirt. The visitor was persistent. “HAI! HAI! Coming!” He said, giving up on looking for a shirt. Whoever it was will just have to accept the fact that he was wearing nothing but a sponge bob boxer shorts.

 

He opened the door. And found himself faced to faced with one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen in his life.

 

She was a doll. What else could she be?  Porcelain skin, long dark wavy hair, pink cheeks.

 

Toma noticed her eyes, the way they look familiar to him, the way those impossibly long eyelashes seem to haunt him. He stared as the girl pursed her lips and started crying. He watched as her eyelashes seem to sweep over her smooth pink cheek and a plump tear rolled down to her chin.

 

He also noticed one thing; she was wearing nothing but plain white shirt, which showed everything and skimpy boxer shorts, which does not even fit her amazingly small hips.

 

“Da…Daijoubu?” He asked, careful not to look anywhere below her face.

 

“Toma-kun! Taskette!” The girl wailed before launching herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and sobbing at his chest.

“EEEEeeeeehhhh?!!!”