{Fic} And the world is our stage

Title: And the world is our stage
Pairing: AKAME
Summary: Kame needs to take Jin back. Jin wants to stay.

The curtains closed and his heart stopped beating.

For a moment he felt time stood still.

“Kazu?” He whispered at the person standing in front of him.

“Bakanishi.” The other guy nodded his hello. “May I sit down?”

Jin blinked. Then moved to make room for his old friend. “Sure. But what are you doing here in LA?”

“I’m here to take you back.” Kame answered as he sat down on the park bench and crossed his legs, “So? Shall we return home?”

“No one’s called me that in years.”

“Bakanishi? You’ll always be Bakanishi to me.”

Jin’s brow furrowed, stared at the person beside him. There was something different about Kazuya Kamenashi. Oh he looked the same, pale, skinny, beautiful.

Kame was always beautiful.

“You changed.” Jin finally responded, “I mean..You look exactly the same like when I last saw you..Only…relaxed?”

“Well. I don’t have much to do now.” His friend replied, smiling his real smile. The Kazuya smile Jin rarely saw, even before. “You look well.” He added, eyeing Jin’s designer jeans and jacket. “You always were suited for fame.”

“You were the one who left.” Jin accused.

Kame nodded. “I was the one who left.”

They sat side by side. Jin watched his surroundings, in front of him; he can see parents play with their children in the grassy open space in the middle of the park. He can feel the wind whoosh as the spring air blew past him and Kame; he can smell the taste of hotdogs being served to the customers waiting in line.

He felt right at home.

Jin wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.

He can feel everything but the beating of his own heart.

“A-aaah.” He groaned. “I’m nervous for some reason.” He faced Kamenashi. “You’re making me nervous for a reason!”

He stared as one perfectly plucked eyebrow rose in question. “I make you nervous?”

Jin shrugged.

“Is there something you should be nervous about?”

“I don’t know. You see, you left us 3 years ago. I haven’t seen you in three years. And now, suddenly, from out of nowhere you appear and decide that you want to take me home.” Jin stood up and started pacing, Kame silently looked on. “Why the sudden interest? Did the agency call you and begged you to come get me? Why now? You didn’t care before. You don’t even talk to me unless you have to. You don’t return my calls. You don’t accept my peace offerings and one day you were just…Gone. We never expected it. I didn’t even know what happened to you, you just simply disappeared and the rest of us disbanded. That’s that. End of KATTUN. Kamenashi is a bastard who didn’t give a shit. And now you want to take me back home?” He kicked his friends’ left boot. “I demand to know why!”

Kame smirked. “You haven’t changed at all. You’re still a child at 28.”

“Am not!” Jin stuck out his tongue, and then collapsed on his knees on the pavement. “Ow!”

“Are you alright?” Kame immediately wrapped an arm around him and helped him up.

He rubbed his chest as he tried to stand. Painful, so very painful. It was as if someone stuck a thousand needles in his naked heart and started stabbing it one after the other. He fisted Kame’s white shirt. “Ow. It hurts. Everything hurts. I hate you Kazuya. Whenever I’m with you I get this pain in my heart and it gets worse every time I see you. It gets worse and worse until I can’t feel anymore. You hurt me just by being here.” Jin took a deep breath and wiped the tears falling from his eyes. “You hurt me just by being here.” He whispered again, burying his face in Kamenashi’s neck. He relaxed as he felt his friends’ hand rubbing circles in his back. Strangely enough, he suddenly felt better the moment Kame touched him.

“Hush.” Kame brushed his bangs away from his face. “You’ll be fine. And that’s a really insulting thing to say to someone you haven’t seen in three years.”

Jin closed his eyes. It was hurting again, this time worse, and a lot stronger. He was already shaking from the pain. His heart felt bruised, like someone threw it in the middle of the street and everyone just started stepping on it. He took deep breaths, his hands unintentionally wrapping themselves around his friend’s body. He had to keep himself from biting Kame’s neck in pain. “I think I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms of some sort.” He moaned in pain at the constant piercing. “Maybe I need to get away from you.”

“What you need to do is go home back to your life.” Kazuya answered and pushed Jin away so that he can place a warm hand on his heart. The pain immediately ceased. “Escaping here won’t make a difference. Everyone’s looking for you, you know. They want you back. You have duties to fulfill, fan girls to please, friends and families to go back to. They’re all waiting for you to return, Bakanishi. You can’t stay and hide here forever.” Kame clasped their hands together and pulled him close. “We are not the same people we were three years ago. I have my own life now and while it’s not ideal, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. You have your solo career to return to, you can’t just leave the people counting on you the way I did. I was stupid Jin. I regret that. I regret a lot of things. But past is past and even if I want to change the stupid decisions I’ve made, it’s too late now. I waited too long and even if I could, I don’t have the right to face the rest anymore.”

Jin bit his lip. “Return with me? Maybe Johnny will allow us to re-establish KATTUN once you’re back. Maybe we can be AKAME again. May— Why are you laughing?” He pouted, “I’m serious!”

Kame started walking, still holding Jin’s hand with his own. People ignored them as they strolled the pavement, a few joggers were doing their usual pace and a couple of teenagers were feeding the pigeons scattered around the park.

Jin thinks that maybe he can get used to this kind of life.

“What are you thinking?” Kame asked him, slowing his pace and matching Jin’s stride.

“That I could live here with you. We can be happy.”

The other guy shook his head no.

His eyes widen in realization. “Oh my God. You married? Did you marry? You impregnated someone and had a family? Is that why you left?!”

“No.”

“….You…Are you sick with some incurable disease?”

“No.”

“Are you living with someone? Like,…Are you gay?”

“No to the first and I don’t know to the second.”

A cough. “How can you not know?”

A smirk. “We never tried.”

“KAZU!”

“I missed that scandalous shriek.” Kame smiled at Jin, “I missed you.”

Jin looked down as he walked, licked his suddenly dry lips. “I missed you too.” He mumbled. “I mean, you know…everyone misses you.”

“I miss them too.”

“So how come we never tried?” Jin asked quietly, dreading the answer. He clutched Kame’s hand tighter, he was going to force an answer out of him, and this might be his only chance. “You knew, I know you knew.”

“I knew.”

He poked Kamenashi’s cheek. “Stop doing that!”

“Sorry.” Kame took a deep breath and let it out, “I got used to repeating what anyone says because everyone here usually understand even without explanations. I forgot that you’re the Bakanishi.” He poked Jin’s cheek back. “It was my fault I guess, I was scared, young, you were old enough and maybe you already know yourself at that time.” He faced his old friend, “I was confused and it didn’t help that the company was forcing us to do the whole fan service thing. When you returned from here, I couldn’t bear to be around you so much, everyday, every hour, every minute. You were everything I wasn’t, you reminded me of the kind of person I wanted to be. I was jealous. Jealous of your popularity, of your talent, of your charisma, Sheesh Jin, you only need to smile and people immediately love you.” He shrugged, rubbed his neck with his free hand. “I work hard. I’ve been working hard since I entered Jimusho and I haven’t stopped working until the very day I left. Yet you, everything comes easy to you. You can sing well, dance well, compose well, and you have the face, the market value, you didn’t need to work for it like the rest of us. You were a natural at everything, and to top it off, you aren’t as dumb as the others make you out to be. You have street smarts and you use it to your advantage, you play the whole dumb blond game yet you probably have more common sense than the rest of K-TTUN combined.” Kame laughed, not a derisive laugh, laugh, but a sheepish, sort of embarrassed laugh. “Mah, we shouldn’t be talking about this anymore. It’s not relevant to the current situation.”

“Yes it is.” Jin murmured softly, touching Kame’s hand to his cheek. “I’ve always wondered why you hate me.”

“I never hated you. If anything, it was the complete opposite.” Kame answered, slowly stroking the soft pale skin with the back of his hand. “I was just…Smarting?”

Jin eyed the soft, pink lips in front of him, “Why don’t we try now?”

“It’s not that easy you know.”

“You love me, and I’ve always made it clear that I love you. You’re free, I’m free, and we are here, just the two of us. Alone. Together. So why can’t we try now? When we still can? Isn’t this a second chance? Aren’t we supposed to take advantage of second chances?”

Kame released Jin’s hand and faced him until they’re eye to eye. “Did it ever occur to you that we are not meant to be in this lifetime?”

“We are meant to be, even our former fan girls agree.”

“You know, I do believe we are. Just not today and not here.”

“Why? Do you have somewhere else to be?” Jin questioned incredulously.

Kame winked. “I need to get you home before everyone else decides that it’s no use waiting for you.”

“But I want to stay here with you!”

“You can’t stay here Jin. You don’t belong here. I don’t belong here. We both have somewhere else we need to be.”

Jin stared at him, “What are you talking about?! This is LA! I’ve lived here! I can stay here! Jimusho will just have to find another talent to build! I’m not that hard to replace you know!”

“And Yamapi? Yuu? Toma? Reio? Your parents? What about them? Are you going to leave them behind?”

“I can visit them anytime!”

“If it were that easy I would have visited you a long, long time ago.” Kame looked at him seriously, “Do you know why I’m here? Because you’re here, because everyone knows that you’re looking for me and that you want me to be here. Do you know why I willingly went here? Because I want you to go back home, I don’t want you to follow me Bakanishi, we can’t be together, I live a different life now and I can’t be selfish. Taking you with me means leaving a lot of people behind. I don’t want you to sacrifice anything because you have a choice.” Kame closed his eyes, whispered, “A choice I never had.”

Jin memorized his friends’ face. That angular jaw which can open into a wide smile, those ridiculously perfectly shaped eyebrows, that moist pink kissable lips, those big soft brown eyes. He will always remember Kazuya’s face. He might forget a lot of things from time to time but Kame’s face is something that will forever be imprinted in his memory.

“I love you. I never had a chance to personally tell you that.” Jin bit his lower lip, trying to prevent the tears slowly trailing down his cheeks. “I will always love you.”

Kazuya raised Jin’s chin, “I know Bakanishi.” He whispered softly against his best friend’s cheek, “I love you too. When you need me, find me here.” He tapped Jin’s heart.

Then kissed him.

A warm, fluffy, addicting kiss, making Jin dizzy.

He can hear his heart beat again.

---

The air felt stale.

His moaned, “My throat hurts.” He tried to speak.

Someone gasped.

There was a moment of silence before he felt everything happen all at once.

“Kazu.”

---

He opened his eyes to two faces he recognized, “Uh.”

“Someone give him water.” His mother raised his bed and slowly placed a glass of water under his lip.

He took a sip.

“Are you alright?” His father asked, looking relieved.

Jin nodded.

“You scared us for a moment there.” His mother said, Jin noticed that her eyes were red.

“Reio?” his voice was scratchy.

“Asleep.” His father answered, “He’s been crying the whole afternoon.”

“Yamapi?”

“Outside. Do you want to talk to him? He and the rest have been here since 4AM.”

He nodded. “I need to ask something from him.”

His mother fluffed his pillows and soothed his hair, “We’ll just be outside okay honey?”

“Thanks.” He whispered as his parents opened the door to leave the room. He watched Yamapi enter and sat beside his bed. His best friend looked nervous, confused.

“You scared us.”

“I’m sorry.” Jin looked at him. “What happened?”

Yamapi’s brow furrowed, “Don’t you remember? You were speeding and hit a van at around 4 in the morning.” He looked at Jin, “They say you were trying to kill yourself.”

“Was I?” He asked, “Was I trying to kill myself?”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“I’m tired. I don’t want this life anymore.”

Yamapi gripped his hand. “So you thought you can solve that by ending your life?! Did you even think about us?! Jin you were dead!”

“Calm down. I wasn’t trying to commit suicide. It was an accident. I’m here! I’m alive!”

“No. You were dead. You were pronounced dead when I arrived here in the hospital.” Yamapi stood up and looked at his friend and colleague, “You were already dead when they tried to use CPR on you.”

Jin’s mouth opened his shock. Electric. It was electric, not needles. He swallowed, “I was…dead?”

“We were already mourning you, they covered your body with white sheet and we were all crying, then you suddenly moaned and called out Kame’s name.” He slapped Jin’s arm. “What the fuck Bakanishi?! You scared us shitless! Your mother was in shock for hours! Reio literally had a break down and your dad thought he was going crazy! Heck, I though I was going crazy! No one knew what to do, thank God a nurse was there and had the presence of mind to call a doctor.”

“I see.” He said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Pi shook his head at him, “You can be so …”

“Why did you stop calling me Bakanishi?”

Yamapi blinked, “Did you hit your head that bad?”

“You haven’t called me Bakanishi in 3 years, why now?”

“You stopped being an idiot for 3 years, until now.”

They stared at each other.

“How’s Kame?” Pi walked toward the door and twisted the knob open. “Well?”

Jin stared out the glass window of his room and studied the city lights. It was already dark out and the tall buildings surrounding the hospital are slowly starting to glow with brightness. It looked calm to Jin, peaceful.

He can feel his heart beat faster.

“Happy.”

“Then you should be happy too.” Yamapi told him before killing the lights and shutting the door.

Jin smiled and closed his eyes.

Tomorrow, the curtains will rise again. He won’t be Bakanishi anymore. He’ll be Akanishi Jin, the number one Johnny’s idol in Japan. He will be made to face the media and apologize to his fans for causing them alarm over the accident. He will smile, say “I’m fine and on the road to recovery.” He’ll pose for the cameras and give his fans what they always wanted, a shy smile, a naughty wink, a flying kiss.

And he’ll keep on doing those same things over and over and over again every chance he gets and every lifetime he has. He’ll continue to do it until he meets Kazuya again, and when that day comes, they will live the greatest love story ever told and the world will be their stage.

My 11 steps to teh JE fandom

1. I got into fandom because of Matsumoto Jun. But not through HYD, it was Gokusen that got me interested in JE/ARASHI. I loved his white streaked hair and was convinced that he's sleeping with Yankumi and Oguri Shun at the same time. It was through MJ that I discovered the OT5 that is ARASHI. That was 2005.

2. I originally fangirl'd Ohmiya. It didn't last long though, as hardcore as I was for them, over the years I realized that Ohmiya would be nothing without Arashi. The storm group is best when they're together, as individuals, they can be ignored but as a group they're irresistable.

3. I met Yamashita Tomohisa in NwP because it was always on youtube's top 5 when it was shown in Japan. I gave it a chance and that was my downfall. NwP is not my first, second or third Jdrama but it was the one which made me want more. (which means I still consider it as my first j-drama!)

4. Seishun Amigo is forever my favorite Jpop song. Up to now it's still in my ipod and I doubt i'll remove it anytime soon.

5. PiKame is the reason I turned gay. The first rl yaoi pairing I shipped. The first real slash fics I read are of them and it was written by peroxidepest17 .

6. I watched Ya-ya-yah CLIPS before I learned of NEWS via Yamapi. I always liked Kusano Hironori and knew of him before he was suspended. To be honest, he was probably the reason I liked NEWS at that time. Ryo looks like he'll eat me alive, TegoMassu are pretty much insignificant and I only know Koyama because he's always the host. Shige who?

7. My BFF introduced me to KATTUN when they debuted and this is my reaction to real face. --> (-.-) zzz

Him: Did you hear? Jin left for US! He molested a kid!
Me: Who?

8. Cartoon KATTUN without JIN. I started to take notice. Early CTKT format was awesome.

9. NEWS is BACK! Who in GAD's NAME is that SEXY GUY WITH THE MOHAWK?!

10. BFF tried to get me into HSJ.

Him: They're so cute.
Me: How old are these kids?!

11. In which I actually start to like KATTUN.

Me: OMGOD! I'm starting to like KATTUN! I think KoKame is total OTP!! Nakamaru's beatboxing is awesome! Koki is so funny! And Ueda is a princess!
Him: Huh? I'm into Kpop now.
Me:

{Video} Ueda Tatsuya on SCP

Credits to newshfan@lj

Notes: I LOVE THIS INTERVIEW. I don't know why but I simply love UEDA. LOL, and I keep updating because...Just because?

{Video} KATTUN in UTABAN 3/12/09

Credits to newshfan@lj

Because sometimes I am insane!

I am again reminded why ARASHI is my favorite JE boy band.

GAD! NINO!! NINO NINO NINO!!!!

I keep wondering what if the following JE groups are in their position:

Rest of ARASHI: MatsuJun would start acting DoS"y" and pretend to be calm even though the rest of the world can see that he's the one panicking the most. Ohno would help but Sho will need to command him, otherwise he'll just....stare and wait. Aiba would PANIC! And shout all things AIBA-like and be all "Help! Help! Help!" Sho would lead and Nino will continue to sleep.

NEWS: Yamapi would give incoherent commands. Since he is a my pace sort of guy, he'll probably stare for a while before coming to a conclusion of what to do. Ryo would actually be of help, being all relaxed and trying to scoop water or something, of course, he'll be all snarky and think "THEY DON'T FUCKING PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS!" Tegoshi would whisper "Believe" every two seconds or so while Massu would be all hyper and panicky and would probably start dancing just because. Koyama will PANIC and talk and talk and talk and shout and talk and shout and shout and shout and flail and shout until Ryo won't be able to take it anymore and just push him in the water to shut him up. Shige will just wail on and on about "WHY IS THIS MY LIFE AND THIS IS OBVIOUSLY KOYAMA's FAULT." Then when he survives, he'll make Wagahai blog and explain WHY EXACTLY IS THE WHOLE THING KOYAMA's fault.

KATTUN: Bakanishi, true to being Bakanishi will let out girly screams and attempt to save himself but not really because he sort of fails when it comes to these things. Kame will tell Koki and Junno to help him dislodge water so that they actually stand a chance. Koki will choke with all the bling he's got because how can you not choke with all that crap? While Taguchi continues to row with a smiling face no matter what happens even when half his body is under-water. While this is going on, Nakamaru will talk to himself and say things like "What to do, what to do." or "Kowaii, Kowaii." Maybe he'll shout a few times and bother Ueda, who will be serene and act as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening because he is aware that there are cameras and rescue squads around them to help when they actually need it. Kame will shout again and again and will be frustrated. Poor guy.

KANJANI8: Will abandon ship and swim to shore the moment it's penetrated by water.

My JE experience!

(Too much love!)

Hey guys, since it's the new year, I feel like talking about myself because I feel like i'm starting to seem like a ditz the way I talk and all. Lol. So here are a few things about me in general.  

- For all my talk about NEWS and KATTUN, my fandom is actually ARASHI. Yes. You read that right. ARASHI. After 3 long years of fangirling them, I still can't choose a favorite. I love them all so much I can't even choose WHO to TALK about! I have their dvd's and posters and watched MOST of their shows no matter how weird some of it are because I rarely ever watched an episode which BORED me. (I got bored with CKTtun show.)  

- Yamapi is my ichiban. But I fangirl a lot of people. Just because I don't talk much about him, or post or litter my page with his pictures does not signify that i've lost interest. I love him because everytime I watch NwP. He makes me fall in love with him again and again and again.  

- For all my talk of Yamapi, I have a strong feeling that if i'm ever given the chance to meet him, i'll treat him more as a brother rather than a lover. Because I felt like i've known him for so long that it's almost...incestous. Lol. Which is why i've always said that my obsession with Pi will be determined the moment I meet him!  

- I liked Shige since I saw his new hairstyle in weeek. But no one seem to know him then, it's only lately when I started talking about him. The guy is lovable because he fails so so so so so so much. But man, can he write.  

- Jun-bait was what happened to me. Gokusen 1. The reason I got into JE fandom. Now I don't stay for Jun alone. I stay for all the GAY men in JE! (which means ALL of them)  

- PiKame was the first JE yaoi pairing I ever shipped. Yes. PiKame. NwP. I loved the ending. So so so so much. I still read fanfictions of them together. I can't help it. It was my first JE yaoi love.  

- My OTP is TomaPi. Because I saw Toma in HYD and got interested and learned that he was with Pi in 4tops. Watching their vids, I realized that Pi ALWAYS looked happy beside Toma. He didn't look like a ROBOT and he didn't have what we now call "fisheyes". I believe that Toma is good for Pi. And I hate Johnny for breaking them apart.

- YaMaki is my HET OTP. Because they look good together and they look good for each other!

- KoyaShige makes me "squee" a lot because it makes me think that this should be how TomaPi would be right now!

- NEWS is my 2nd favorite boyband because they are all SMART. (Yes! ALL!) I don't think Kei is as ditzy as he acts, nor do I believe that Massu is stupid or that Shige always fails.... Their interviews make the most sense out of all the JE bands. And they actually give answers which are logical!

- I don't hate KATTUN. Most people think I do but I don't. Life would be so boring without their constant bickerings and slutty-tumes and sheer idiocy. They win at being bad.

- I hate HSJUMP. This is very very very true. I don't hate the members, just the fact that they are all young and looked too ready to do whatever just to make it. I'm scared for them.

- I love: Yamapi, Toma, Tsubasa, Tsuyoshi, Guchi-Maru-Ueda, all of news, Okada-Ken, Taichi-Joshima-Nagase, ARASHI, Ohkura and Kusano Hironori. Yes, Notti.

- I know that JE people can RARELY sing, act, dance, host at the same time, but even when they lack all of those and the looks, they still bait me. Stupid JE packaging.

- I love Ishigaki of Question. I want to feel his hands.

- I could never understand how NEWS costumes look like rags while Kattun costumes look like sluts. News can't even afford proper make-up and hairstylists while Kattun is littered with eyeliners and lipgloss. Plus Jin has really fluffy hair.

- I believe that TEGOSHI is GOD because no one in NEWS is yet to suffocate from their costumes. Except maybe for Shige.

- I don't care what ARASHI wears. They can hold a concert in drag for all I care, i'd still be joining the party.

- And lastly, I have no idea how I managed to stay in fandom for three years. SERIOUSLY.

Why I now hate Yamapi

(My version of Obi wan)

     I just burned down our kitchen. YES! Our kitchen! Our freaking house kitchen! c0rin just burned down her kitchen! Think black smoke! crisp! Ashes to ashes, dust to dust! Somebody offer me condolences or something! It's christmas and i'm burning down houses!

     Okay, must start from the start. It was really one of those days you know? You wake up at 12 noon and think: "I'm hungry and I want milk and sandwich." So there I was, in the kitchen, supposedly making/stirring/whatever hot milk and then realization came. 

"Why is there no hot water?" 

     So being a good daughter that I was, I filled the teapot with water, opened the stove and decided that since the teapot whistles anyway, I may as well go online and maybe check my messages or something. I never even noticed that when I opened the stove, I didn't remove the cork thing used to cover it. I just placed the pot on top of it. 

     I immediately logged on to youtube since crunchyroll pretty much suck these days as I cannot, as always, access it! Anyway, to make the long story short, there I was, happily thinking to myself as I watch Yamapi do the daite senorita dance: 

"Wow, those moobs are really something, I wonder if he used estrogen or what."

and

"Gad! I wonder if Toma ever tapped those hips?!" 

     When all of a sudden, I noticed that there was this thick black smoke hovering above my head (I was sitting down) and all my brain can come up with was: 

"Whoa. Cool."

     And then I woke up from my moment of Koyama-ness and realized the the house is on FIRE! OH MY GOD THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! And so, mustering up whatever courage I have, I ran to the kitchen (1st floor) and totally choked on my own hair. (because it was long and I didn't have the chance to tie it!) I couldn't see ANYTHING but this BIG YELLOW/BLUE  fire rising up to the ceiling! 

     I did the only thing I thought of at that moment. I threw this BIG plastic container I grabbed from beside the SINK (which in case none of you got, PRODUCES WATER) at it and HOPED for the BEST. Of course, we all know how that TURNED out. Throwing plastic container WITHOUT water won't exactly save the world. Recovering from my stupidity, I opted to do the next thing I thought of. 

Turn on the electric fan. 

     Let's just say I won't be listening to NewS Happy Birthday song anytime soon. (Nor do I wonder why I lost my dean's lister status) And while i'm at it, I think being bald might be a good look for me. 

     The thing about our house is, we have a BIG backyard. So it is highly unlikely that people would ever notice should we ever be on fire. Especially since our backyard is one ENTIRE MOUNTAIN WALL! And let me just mention that our house is three stories, so my family won't notice what's happening unless I shout it out. So there I was, confused, wondering if this was my end and how embarrassing this is, as the headlines would probably be somewhere along the lines of: 

"Family burned to death because of gay Japanese actor." 

     And then, I suddenly felt enlightened. For some reason, something came over me and I felt this sudden adrenaline rush! I grabbed all the water containers I could find, filled them with water and by SHEER LUCK, managed to put the fire out. (Let me tell you, all this happened in like, 3 minutes but it seemed like a LONG LONG time) I'd bet you my pink ARASHI feather boa that Edward Cullen would be proud of my strength. 

     Of course, the next thing to do was cover my tacks. Because really, if you should ever get to meet my mother, you'd never want to be me ever. For one, she's an "elitist" (think school admin or something close to that) and two, she doesn't tolerate stupidity. Needless to say, my state of panic comes from the knowledge that she'd probably ground me for life and i'll never get to see KATTUN's slutty costumes again rather than the fact that I burned down the kitchen.

My mother has no member-ai.  

     Now how can I possible hide the evidence when it's GLARING at you? You can't really say that the reason why the once white kitchen tiles turned black was because aliens invaded the earth and decided that black it the new white. I mean really? Who would believe that?

     I contemplated turning a blind eye and say things like, "What do you mean? The kitchen looks the same to me." But decided against it. Because let's be honest here. The stove looks like someone placed a hand granade under it, even Bill Clinton can't deny it. I did the only thing I could and packed my bags. 

Well, no, not really. But I wanted to. 

     Let's just cut the story short and say that my mother went YODA on me. (Hence the picture) She was like, "To be irresponsible all your life, is that what you want to be?"  and "Think of your actions, that was all I asked." I can't say I blame her though, her daughter took up ARSON as hobby. Not to mention the fact that my sister, (a lawyer) is probably processing my ADOPTION papers as I write this whole thing down. And my younger brother is on his phone going, "Dude, my sister just fucking burned down our HOUSE!" 

     Needless to say, I will never see the light of day again. I just hoped my new family has a daughter who's into JE. 

Anybody want to adopt me? 

It's not all in the family

     Like everyone else's families who do not live in Japan. My family does not understand JE. But when I think about it, how could they? JE isn't exactly what you'd call "family friendly." 

     Whenever my brother uses the mac, he gets confused with the wallpaper I use. He thinks Tegoshi is a girl. Actually, he thinks Tegoshi is the same GIRL in Hana Kimi. Which I have to agree, is kind of understandable. Even I think Tegoshi and Maki look alike. He also thinks Massu is like...12 and therefore, his sister (me!) is a PEDO. Well LA-DI-DA! Guess i'm in the same league as the great JOHNNY KITAGAWA himself. (At least we have something in common.) Well, I guess I can be proud of the fact that I never fangirl'd HSJ! Imagine if it was Chinen?! I'd be like... serving sentence by now.  

     My sister cannot understand how Kame is NOT gay. (I never did tell her that Kame is indeed gay. i don't have enough proof!) Considering that she plucks her eyebrows like, every weekend. I get her issues with the turtle. Especially since Kame's eyebrows still look better than hers. Another thing that bothers her are Yamapi's moobs. She thinks it's all PHOTOSHOPPED. Owing to the fact that Yamapi isn't even fat enough to have MOOBS. I personally don't care how those moobies are made. As long as they're connected to Pi's chest and they're NOT LACTATING, I am HAPPY. 

     I fear the day my mother shall ever get to meet KATTUN. I don't think their see-through clothes, dead animals and phallic earrings will convince her that they're wholesome and some of the members probably never had women sex in their lives. So it's not like I even had the chance to miss anything. She doesn't exactly have to worry about my sanity and my taste in men. Or woman. Whatever. The point is, with the way KATTUN dresses, no matter how much I tell her that, "MOM! They're like, totally GHEI!" I doubt she'll ever believe me. 

     My elder brother laughs in my face. Mainly because he caught me watching Arashi in a dress and needless to say, he never let me forget about it. Lesson learned? It's better to be caught watching porn than to be caught watching men in drag. Because apparently, hardcore porn is a hundred times more normal than men in wigs. I'm only thankful it was Arashi and not Kanjani8 in their ranger costumes. I can only imagine what kind of jokes my brother can come up with once he sees Yasu being molested by ...oh, I don't know. The WHOLE band? 

     My friends are a different matter altogether. My bf thinks that Bakanishi is GOD and we should all be a slave to his fat hips. I beg to differ, as much as I like Jin's hip-rolling prowess, I never want to be a slave to that. NOT, when MatsuJun can still do the amazing catwalk he does. 

     A gay friend is totally convinced that Shige slept with all the members of NEWS. Of course, I had to defend law boy and say, "Puhleeze! Shige?! You must be thinking of Tegoshi or Pi!" And he was like:

"Try to notice the way he walks and when he dances and shakes his hips. He was fucked. HARD." 

     To be honest, I still think it's all Koyama's fault. Shige couldn't have slept with the entire band.('cept for Kei) If he did, his hips would have pawned Jin's by now. 

A girl friend THINKS Takky slept with the entire JE management.

You and the rest of the world, sweetie.