My JE experience!

(Too much love!)

Hey guys, since it's the new year, I feel like talking about myself because I feel like i'm starting to seem like a ditz the way I talk and all. Lol. So here are a few things about me in general.  

- For all my talk about NEWS and KATTUN, my fandom is actually ARASHI. Yes. You read that right. ARASHI. After 3 long years of fangirling them, I still can't choose a favorite. I love them all so much I can't even choose WHO to TALK about! I have their dvd's and posters and watched MOST of their shows no matter how weird some of it are because I rarely ever watched an episode which BORED me. (I got bored with CKTtun show.)  

- Yamapi is my ichiban. But I fangirl a lot of people. Just because I don't talk much about him, or post or litter my page with his pictures does not signify that i've lost interest. I love him because everytime I watch NwP. He makes me fall in love with him again and again and again.  

- For all my talk of Yamapi, I have a strong feeling that if i'm ever given the chance to meet him, i'll treat him more as a brother rather than a lover. Because I felt like i've known him for so long that it's almost...incestous. Lol. Which is why i've always said that my obsession with Pi will be determined the moment I meet him!  

- I liked Shige since I saw his new hairstyle in weeek. But no one seem to know him then, it's only lately when I started talking about him. The guy is lovable because he fails so so so so so so much. But man, can he write.  

- Jun-bait was what happened to me. Gokusen 1. The reason I got into JE fandom. Now I don't stay for Jun alone. I stay for all the GAY men in JE! (which means ALL of them)  

- PiKame was the first JE yaoi pairing I ever shipped. Yes. PiKame. NwP. I loved the ending. So so so so much. I still read fanfictions of them together. I can't help it. It was my first JE yaoi love.  

- My OTP is TomaPi. Because I saw Toma in HYD and got interested and learned that he was with Pi in 4tops. Watching their vids, I realized that Pi ALWAYS looked happy beside Toma. He didn't look like a ROBOT and he didn't have what we now call "fisheyes". I believe that Toma is good for Pi. And I hate Johnny for breaking them apart.

- YaMaki is my HET OTP. Because they look good together and they look good for each other!

- KoyaShige makes me "squee" a lot because it makes me think that this should be how TomaPi would be right now!

- NEWS is my 2nd favorite boyband because they are all SMART. (Yes! ALL!) I don't think Kei is as ditzy as he acts, nor do I believe that Massu is stupid or that Shige always fails.... Their interviews make the most sense out of all the JE bands. And they actually give answers which are logical!

- I don't hate KATTUN. Most people think I do but I don't. Life would be so boring without their constant bickerings and slutty-tumes and sheer idiocy. They win at being bad.

- I hate HSJUMP. This is very very very true. I don't hate the members, just the fact that they are all young and looked too ready to do whatever just to make it. I'm scared for them.

- I love: Yamapi, Toma, Tsubasa, Tsuyoshi, Guchi-Maru-Ueda, all of news, Okada-Ken, Taichi-Joshima-Nagase, ARASHI, Ohkura and Kusano Hironori. Yes, Notti.

- I know that JE people can RARELY sing, act, dance, host at the same time, but even when they lack all of those and the looks, they still bait me. Stupid JE packaging.

- I love Ishigaki of Question. I want to feel his hands.

- I could never understand how NEWS costumes look like rags while Kattun costumes look like sluts. News can't even afford proper make-up and hairstylists while Kattun is littered with eyeliners and lipgloss. Plus Jin has really fluffy hair.

- I believe that TEGOSHI is GOD because no one in NEWS is yet to suffocate from their costumes. Except maybe for Shige.

- I don't care what ARASHI wears. They can hold a concert in drag for all I care, i'd still be joining the party.

- And lastly, I have no idea how I managed to stay in fandom for three years. SERIOUSLY.

To the best-est friend in the world!

Sometimes I wonder why I like you,

Sometimes I wonder why I care.

You're all about Jin Bakanishi,

when i'm all about (pink) Yamapi! 

You're the only person in my world, 

who tolerates MatsuJun's singing.

You hate me when I always say.

He's really just ear-raping.

You think KATTUN is wonderful, they all sing fairly well.

Don't know what your standard is, they harmonize like hell.

Arashi is my favorite, at least Ohno can sing and dance.

You laugh at me quite evilly, say, "You're one of their two fans." 

You hated Yamapi's creepy perm.

And I still say you're blind! 

It might look like some Grandma's wig

But it's really quite refined. 

I don't know why I even bother, talking sense to you.

But then I simply realized, fandom's not the same without you. 

At least we agree on something, that SHIGE is quite hot.

That he should pose butt naked, in an AnAn cover shot. 

That Ryo is really pretty, with his Eito renjaa pose.

Tegoshi is phallic, when his mouth opens and close. 

That Aiba is, actually, the original bakanishi.

Kinki kids don't get along, coz one of them is creepy.

We agree that Sakurai Sho should not eat something bitter,

That JE stylists should be fired for blinding us with glitter.

Kei-chan should really just, confess to his best friend. 

We've been waiting forever, we wonder when it'll end.

You think that Toma should debut,

I think the same way too.

We'd die to meet Toma and Pi

Our favorite OTP. 

We might not agree on a lot of things,

but I love you just the same.

Even when you prefer Jin's hips

To Kusano's funny games. 

You'll always be a drama queen, you big attention whore.

I'll always be the sarcastic bitch, who'll never be a bore. 

We're too different it's funny, how do we even get along?

I guess it's one of those life mysteries, they sing about in songs.

So for next year, 2009, let's agree to disagree.

Let's lay our differences aside, and indulge on a shopping spree! 

It's not all in the family

     Like everyone else's families who do not live in Japan. My family does not understand JE. But when I think about it, how could they? JE isn't exactly what you'd call "family friendly." 

     Whenever my brother uses the mac, he gets confused with the wallpaper I use. He thinks Tegoshi is a girl. Actually, he thinks Tegoshi is the same GIRL in Hana Kimi. Which I have to agree, is kind of understandable. Even I think Tegoshi and Maki look alike. He also thinks Massu is like...12 and therefore, his sister (me!) is a PEDO. Well LA-DI-DA! Guess i'm in the same league as the great JOHNNY KITAGAWA himself. (At least we have something in common.) Well, I guess I can be proud of the fact that I never fangirl'd HSJ! Imagine if it was Chinen?! I'd be like... serving sentence by now.  

     My sister cannot understand how Kame is NOT gay. (I never did tell her that Kame is indeed gay. i don't have enough proof!) Considering that she plucks her eyebrows like, every weekend. I get her issues with the turtle. Especially since Kame's eyebrows still look better than hers. Another thing that bothers her are Yamapi's moobs. She thinks it's all PHOTOSHOPPED. Owing to the fact that Yamapi isn't even fat enough to have MOOBS. I personally don't care how those moobies are made. As long as they're connected to Pi's chest and they're NOT LACTATING, I am HAPPY. 

     I fear the day my mother shall ever get to meet KATTUN. I don't think their see-through clothes, dead animals and phallic earrings will convince her that they're wholesome and some of the members probably never had women sex in their lives. So it's not like I even had the chance to miss anything. She doesn't exactly have to worry about my sanity and my taste in men. Or woman. Whatever. The point is, with the way KATTUN dresses, no matter how much I tell her that, "MOM! They're like, totally GHEI!" I doubt she'll ever believe me. 

     My elder brother laughs in my face. Mainly because he caught me watching Arashi in a dress and needless to say, he never let me forget about it. Lesson learned? It's better to be caught watching porn than to be caught watching men in drag. Because apparently, hardcore porn is a hundred times more normal than men in wigs. I'm only thankful it was Arashi and not Kanjani8 in their ranger costumes. I can only imagine what kind of jokes my brother can come up with once he sees Yasu being molested by ...oh, I don't know. The WHOLE band? 

     My friends are a different matter altogether. My bf thinks that Bakanishi is GOD and we should all be a slave to his fat hips. I beg to differ, as much as I like Jin's hip-rolling prowess, I never want to be a slave to that. NOT, when MatsuJun can still do the amazing catwalk he does. 

     A gay friend is totally convinced that Shige slept with all the members of NEWS. Of course, I had to defend law boy and say, "Puhleeze! Shige?! You must be thinking of Tegoshi or Pi!" And he was like:

"Try to notice the way he walks and when he dances and shakes his hips. He was fucked. HARD." 

     To be honest, I still think it's all Koyama's fault. Shige couldn't have slept with the entire band.('cept for Kei) If he did, his hips would have pawned Jin's by now. 

A girl friend THINKS Takky slept with the entire JE management.

You and the rest of the world, sweetie. 

  

Johnny's Entertainment

JOHNNY's ENTERTAINMENT!

For those who has never heard of Johnny's entertainment or his BOYS, MY hats off to you. It can only mean that you are still as pure as white snow and as untouched as North Pole.  

But nevertheless, let me give you a background information about JE. It is the sole, surviving gay institute of Japan. If you insist that "No, they're straight!" or "Duh, they're just really close", then WAKE UP. A building full of hot, sweaty, sexy MEN touching each other, hugging each other, kissing each other, molesting each other.... There is no chance that they're ALL straight, Some of them might be of course.. (I can't think of anyone as of the moment but I know someone HAS TO BE....Even if it turns out to be TAKKI.)  

So what is it with Johnny and his boys?  

Simple: Great marketing strategy. Johnny's holds EVERYBODY. (translation: Watch MAOU)  

Of course, it helps that MOST of them have hips made of slinky and faces perfected with surgery.  

Let me give you a few of my favorite molested boys.  

Who better to start with than the person at the top? 

No, not KimuTaku...As much as he is well loved, he isn't as controversial as I want him to be.  

Akanishi Jin-Or, better known as Bakanishi. Jin and I have this love-hate relationship wherein one moment I cannot stand him but I can't help myself when he does his hip rolling thing. I finally realized that what I love about him is his SLUTTY-ness. (And the fact that his "baka-ness" status allowed him leeway to say all the mean things he wants and GET AWAY WITH IT!) I love the fact that he thrusts his hips at anyone and EVERYONE dead, alive, inanimate or in coma. I like to amuse myself and think that Jins' main purpose in life is to sleep with everyone in JE. *coughKamecough*  

Kamenazhi Kazuya-You know what they say, "Never judge a man by his eyebrows." In Kame's case...We can't really help but judge. But you have to understand, the guy has a complex. Have you seen his old UNPLUCKED brows? You'd think it was part of his hair. I don't really think he's gay, *yeahright!* more like...Confused. He doesn't understand that he's supposed to be a guy. People usually pair him with Jin but the way I see it...I don't even think they speak to each other...*coughKoKameshippercough*  

Yamashita Tomohisa-My own personal LOVE. But believe it or not, I am not blind to his faults. I may be blinded by his uber-big (are those lactating?) manboobs and slappable tushy but I am quite aware that he has faults...I can't name anything as of the moment....Anyway, Yamapi is gay. Yes. Gay. Why? Because I say he is. How valid is my word? Not valid at all. But I still maintain that he's gay. I only need to see him act around Ikuta Toma for my gaydar to start acting up. *insertpicturetoidentifytruelove*

Nishikido Ryo- The Poison tongue. He is not as evil as he seems. Well, at least not evil enough for me. I personally think he's just... Uncomfortable around people, especially, those he think are a lot better than him. (No, not Ueda!) This guy has a major case of PMS. Either that or he's just plain bipolar. I mean come on! He is so scary at times yet can be sweet. He's manly then he does things that are girly(er) than Ueda curling HER hair.*watchNewSconcertstounderstandwhatImean*

Matsumoto Jun- Kami-sama! Have you guys seen this guy walk?! This is the prince of JE. (No, not really..) He's a great actor. Gorgeous! He can look girly yet act tough. Or he can look manly and act gay. Sometimes I think MatsuJun doesn't even know who he is. He just knows that he's "high up there." And he acts like it. But of course, what I love about this guy is that while he shines alone. He doesn't shine so much when he's with ARASHI. (probably because they all shine) I also love the fact that he's well...a big permed dork. 

Ikuta Toma-There was a time when I thought that when it comes to crying, Yamapi is number one in JE. Until I saw this guy cry. ASDF! ASDD!(*#E)(#()!!! My poor little Toma-kun!!! I love Toma. Not that same way I love Yamapi (like: KYAA! YAMAPI-SAMA!!! KISS ME!) it's more of..."TOMA-kun! KAWAII!!" People may disagree with me but I think that he's MANLIER than YAMAPI. And THAT is the NUMBER ONE reason why he's NUMBER TWO in my heart.*tomapishippercough*