Monday, October 20, 2008

Johnny's Entertainment

For those who has never heard of Johnny's entertainment or his BOYS, MY hats off to you. It can only mean that you are still as pure as white snow and as untouched as North Pole.  

But nevertheless, let me give you a background information about JE. It is the sole, surviving gay institute of Japan. If you insist that "No, they're straight!" or "Duh, they're just really close", then WAKE UP. A building full of hot, sweaty, sexy MEN touching each other, hugging each other, kissing each other, molesting each other.... There is no chance that they're ALL straight, Some of them might be of course.. (I can't think of anyone as of the moment but I know someone HAS TO BE....Even if it turns out to be TAKKI.)  

So what is it with Johnny and his boys?  

Simple: Great marketing strategy. Johnny's holds EVERYBODY. (translation: Watch MAOU)  

Of course, it helps that MOST of them have hips made of slinky and faces perfected with surgery.  
Let me give you a few of my favorite molested boys.  

Who better to start with than the person at the top? 

No, not KimuTaku...As much as he is well loved, he isn't as controversial as I want him to be.  

Akanishi Jin-Or, better known as Bakanishi. Jin and I have this love-hate relationship wherein one moment I cannot stand him but I can't help myself when he does his hip rolling thing. I finally realized that what I love about him is his SLUTTY-ness. (And the fact that his "baka-ness" status allowed him leeway to say all the mean things he wants and GET AWAY WITH IT!) I love the fact that he thrusts his hips at anyone and EVERYONE dead, alive, inanimate or in coma. I like to amuse myself and think that Jins' main purpose in life is to sleep with everyone in JE. *coughKamecough*  

Kamenazhi Kazuya-You know what they say, "Never judge a man by his eyebrows." In Kame's case...We can't really help but judge. But you have to understand, the guy has a complex. Have you seen his old UNPLUCKED brows? You'd think it was part of his hair. I don't really think he's gay, *yeahright!* more like...Confused. He doesn't understand that he's supposed to be a guy. People usually pair him with Jin but the way I see it...I don't even think they speak to each other...*coughKoKameshippercough*  

Yamashita Tomohisa-My own personal LOVE. But believe it or not, I am not blind to his faults. I may be blinded by his uber-big (are those lactating?) manboobs and slappable tushy but I am quite aware that he has faults...I can't name anything as of the moment....Anyway, Yamapi is gay. Yes. Gay. Why? Because I say he is. How valid is my word? Not valid at all. But I still maintain that he's gay. I only need to see him act around Ikuta Toma for my gaydar to start acting up. *insertpicturetoidentifytruelove*

Nishikido Ryo- The Poison tongue. He is not as evil as he seems. Well, at least not evil enough for me. I personally think he's just... Uncomfortable around people, especially, those he think are a lot better than him. (No, not Ueda!) This guy has a major case of PMS. Either that or he's just plain bipolar. I mean come on! He is so scary at times yet can be sweet. He's manly then he does things that are girly(er) than Ueda curling HER hair.*watchNewSconcertstounderstandwhatImean*

Matsumoto Jun- Kami-sama! Have you guys seen this guy walk?! This is the prince of JE. (No, not really..) He's a great actor. Gorgeous! He can look girly yet act tough. Or he can look manly and act gay. Sometimes I think MatsuJun doesn't even know who he is. He just knows that he's "high up there." And he acts like it. But of course, what I love about this guy is that while he shines alone. He doesn't shine so much when he's with ARASHI. (probably because they all shine) I also love the fact that he's well...a big permed dork. 

Ikuta Toma-There was a time when I thought that when it comes to crying, Yamapi is number one in JE. Until I saw this guy cry. ASDF! ASDD!(*#E)(#()!!! My poor little Toma-kun!!! I love Toma. Not that same way I love Yamapi (like: KYAA! YAMAPI-SAMA!!! KISS ME!) it's more of..."TOMA-kun! KAWAII!!" People may disagree with me but I think that he's MANLIER than YAMAPI. And THAT is the NUMBER ONE reason why he's NUMBER TWO in my heart.*tomapishippercough*


alephnull said...

Your comments about those guys (or is it gays?) may be biting but I believe what you said could be true.

c0rin said...

@alephnull: Haha. Thanks? I like making fun of my fandom. I don't know if it's TRUE really, but I like to make assumptions.

Anonymous said...

Well, it is true, so you may presume that your assumptions are good :)

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