The hotness that is Shige!

Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige! Shige!

Gad. You and Kei-chan need to come out of the closet. 

Seriously.

Unfeeling

"We're through."

His famous last words. 

I wasn't surprised. I knew what was coming even before the words came tumbling out of your mouth. 

All I did was raise an eyebrow.

You looked confused, probably thinking, "Why isn't she reacting?"

And all I can think of was the fact that I don't even have the emotion to cry, to ask. Or to at least look like I even care.  It scares me that I am not affected.

It's not because I never loved you. I do. 

But the moment you said the words I just moved on. 

I am sorry.

But I guess that's just the kind of person I am. 

Unfeeling. 

Twilight MOVIE review

Why I now hate Yamapi

(My version of Obi wan)

     I just burned down our kitchen. YES! Our kitchen! Our freaking house kitchen! c0rin just burned down her kitchen! Think black smoke! crisp! Ashes to ashes, dust to dust! Somebody offer me condolences or something! It's christmas and i'm burning down houses!

     Okay, must start from the start. It was really one of those days you know? You wake up at 12 noon and think: "I'm hungry and I want milk and sandwich." So there I was, in the kitchen, supposedly making/stirring/whatever hot milk and then realization came. 

"Why is there no hot water?" 

     So being a good daughter that I was, I filled the teapot with water, opened the stove and decided that since the teapot whistles anyway, I may as well go online and maybe check my messages or something. I never even noticed that when I opened the stove, I didn't remove the cork thing used to cover it. I just placed the pot on top of it. 

     I immediately logged on to youtube since crunchyroll pretty much suck these days as I cannot, as always, access it! Anyway, to make the long story short, there I was, happily thinking to myself as I watch Yamapi do the daite senorita dance: 

"Wow, those moobs are really something, I wonder if he used estrogen or what."

and

"Gad! I wonder if Toma ever tapped those hips?!" 

     When all of a sudden, I noticed that there was this thick black smoke hovering above my head (I was sitting down) and all my brain can come up with was: 

"Whoa. Cool."

     And then I woke up from my moment of Koyama-ness and realized the the house is on FIRE! OH MY GOD THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! And so, mustering up whatever courage I have, I ran to the kitchen (1st floor) and totally choked on my own hair. (because it was long and I didn't have the chance to tie it!) I couldn't see ANYTHING but this BIG YELLOW/BLUE  fire rising up to the ceiling! 

     I did the only thing I thought of at that moment. I threw this BIG plastic container I grabbed from beside the SINK (which in case none of you got, PRODUCES WATER) at it and HOPED for the BEST. Of course, we all know how that TURNED out. Throwing plastic container WITHOUT water won't exactly save the world. Recovering from my stupidity, I opted to do the next thing I thought of. 

Turn on the electric fan. 

     Let's just say I won't be listening to NewS Happy Birthday song anytime soon. (Nor do I wonder why I lost my dean's lister status) And while i'm at it, I think being bald might be a good look for me. 

     The thing about our house is, we have a BIG backyard. So it is highly unlikely that people would ever notice should we ever be on fire. Especially since our backyard is one ENTIRE MOUNTAIN WALL! And let me just mention that our house is three stories, so my family won't notice what's happening unless I shout it out. So there I was, confused, wondering if this was my end and how embarrassing this is, as the headlines would probably be somewhere along the lines of: 

"Family burned to death because of gay Japanese actor." 

     And then, I suddenly felt enlightened. For some reason, something came over me and I felt this sudden adrenaline rush! I grabbed all the water containers I could find, filled them with water and by SHEER LUCK, managed to put the fire out. (Let me tell you, all this happened in like, 3 minutes but it seemed like a LONG LONG time) I'd bet you my pink ARASHI feather boa that Edward Cullen would be proud of my strength. 

     Of course, the next thing to do was cover my tacks. Because really, if you should ever get to meet my mother, you'd never want to be me ever. For one, she's an "elitist" (think school admin or something close to that) and two, she doesn't tolerate stupidity. Needless to say, my state of panic comes from the knowledge that she'd probably ground me for life and i'll never get to see KATTUN's slutty costumes again rather than the fact that I burned down the kitchen.

My mother has no member-ai.  

     Now how can I possible hide the evidence when it's GLARING at you? You can't really say that the reason why the once white kitchen tiles turned black was because aliens invaded the earth and decided that black it the new white. I mean really? Who would believe that?

     I contemplated turning a blind eye and say things like, "What do you mean? The kitchen looks the same to me." But decided against it. Because let's be honest here. The stove looks like someone placed a hand granade under it, even Bill Clinton can't deny it. I did the only thing I could and packed my bags. 

Well, no, not really. But I wanted to. 

     Let's just cut the story short and say that my mother went YODA on me. (Hence the picture) She was like, "To be irresponsible all your life, is that what you want to be?"  and "Think of your actions, that was all I asked." I can't say I blame her though, her daughter took up ARSON as hobby. Not to mention the fact that my sister, (a lawyer) is probably processing my ADOPTION papers as I write this whole thing down. And my younger brother is on his phone going, "Dude, my sister just fucking burned down our HOUSE!" 

     Needless to say, I will never see the light of day again. I just hoped my new family has a daughter who's into JE. 

Anybody want to adopt me? 

It's not all in the family

     Like everyone else's families who do not live in Japan. My family does not understand JE. But when I think about it, how could they? JE isn't exactly what you'd call "family friendly." 

     Whenever my brother uses the mac, he gets confused with the wallpaper I use. He thinks Tegoshi is a girl. Actually, he thinks Tegoshi is the same GIRL in Hana Kimi. Which I have to agree, is kind of understandable. Even I think Tegoshi and Maki look alike. He also thinks Massu is like...12 and therefore, his sister (me!) is a PEDO. Well LA-DI-DA! Guess i'm in the same league as the great JOHNNY KITAGAWA himself. (At least we have something in common.) Well, I guess I can be proud of the fact that I never fangirl'd HSJ! Imagine if it was Chinen?! I'd be like... serving sentence by now.  

     My sister cannot understand how Kame is NOT gay. (I never did tell her that Kame is indeed gay. i don't have enough proof!) Considering that she plucks her eyebrows like, every weekend. I get her issues with the turtle. Especially since Kame's eyebrows still look better than hers. Another thing that bothers her are Yamapi's moobs. She thinks it's all PHOTOSHOPPED. Owing to the fact that Yamapi isn't even fat enough to have MOOBS. I personally don't care how those moobies are made. As long as they're connected to Pi's chest and they're NOT LACTATING, I am HAPPY. 

     I fear the day my mother shall ever get to meet KATTUN. I don't think their see-through clothes, dead animals and phallic earrings will convince her that they're wholesome and some of the members probably never had women sex in their lives. So it's not like I even had the chance to miss anything. She doesn't exactly have to worry about my sanity and my taste in men. Or woman. Whatever. The point is, with the way KATTUN dresses, no matter how much I tell her that, "MOM! They're like, totally GHEI!" I doubt she'll ever believe me. 

     My elder brother laughs in my face. Mainly because he caught me watching Arashi in a dress and needless to say, he never let me forget about it. Lesson learned? It's better to be caught watching porn than to be caught watching men in drag. Because apparently, hardcore porn is a hundred times more normal than men in wigs. I'm only thankful it was Arashi and not Kanjani8 in their ranger costumes. I can only imagine what kind of jokes my brother can come up with once he sees Yasu being molested by ...oh, I don't know. The WHOLE band? 

     My friends are a different matter altogether. My bf thinks that Bakanishi is GOD and we should all be a slave to his fat hips. I beg to differ, as much as I like Jin's hip-rolling prowess, I never want to be a slave to that. NOT, when MatsuJun can still do the amazing catwalk he does. 

     A gay friend is totally convinced that Shige slept with all the members of NEWS. Of course, I had to defend law boy and say, "Puhleeze! Shige?! You must be thinking of Tegoshi or Pi!" And he was like:

"Try to notice the way he walks and when he dances and shakes his hips. He was fucked. HARD." 

     To be honest, I still think it's all Koyama's fault. Shige couldn't have slept with the entire band.('cept for Kei) If he did, his hips would have pawned Jin's by now. 

A girl friend THINKS Takky slept with the entire JE management.

You and the rest of the world, sweetie. 

  

The color of my life

(my usual place)

I have decided to change my blogs'  color because well,..Blue was getting old. And i'm so bored. Anyway, a friend of mine had dared me to update my blog EVERYDAY until Christmas day. Considering how LAZY I am, I can't exactly say that i'm thrilled! 

So I guess for 12 days you'll be reading a lot of unimportant things in my blog. For today, let me talk about the above picture. 

Yellow, is my name's color. I have been told that when people hear my name, the first color they think of is yellow. I never really understood that theory nor am I even interested to find out. But in a way, you could say that I am attracted to anything colorful. Though my favorite color is blue. Yellow gives me a feeling of being calm and reasonable. 

As you can probably guess, i'd pretty much die without technology. I can't live without any FORM of tech that it's practically insane. I always seem to have the need to check my phone every once in a while. I am not addicted to texting nor to calling. I am just addicted to checking my phone! Whether for messages or missed calls or to listen to mp3's or to just play with it. 

My mac is the most important part of my life. I cannot last a day without going online and checking my messages, gb's, updates or whatever it is that I do. Funny though. For someone always online, I can't seem to update my blogs. My computer pretty much holds all my life secrets. Be it pictures of JE men or my personal write-ups. 

I have a lot of vices. Some are hurtful. (like chocolate) and some, CLEAN. Like water. I drink so much water everyday that I always always feel bloated. But for some reason, I can't stop drinking. I feel dehydrated when I don't drink when I want to drink. It's not a bad obsession. But there are moments when I wonder why I make it so hard for myself. Do you guys even know how many TIMES I go to the bathroom a DAY?! But that glass of water pretty much represents my life. It's not that Empty. But neither is it full. 

I live such a lonely life it's sick. 

YAMAKI FANFICTION: Episode 2

They stared at each other while her parents look on. 

He smirked at her. "Well, hello again. So when do you want to get married?" 

"How unromantic." Maki raised her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "I heartily decline."

Her mother let out a  little laugh, "Now, now, Maki-chan, really, we talked about this. How about next month? It's christmas and --"

"I said, I decline." She stood up and made an action to leave. His smooth voice stopped her. 

"Whether you accept or decline does not matter, your parents have accepted my proposition and frankly, I own you now." His smile mocked her. "Unless of course, you want you and your parents to be out of business and living in the streets within the next 24 hours?" 

She blinked at him. "What?" her head turned to face her father, "What?" 

Horikita Saotome met her daughter's eyes. "Yamashita-san now owns the company. Your mother---That is...We..we borrowed money from him to save the company from bankruptcy but we weren't able to pay it."

"I don't understand! What has this have to do with me?! I don't need the company! I can live on my own! And surely you have enough money to last you a lifetime?!" She asked her mother. Aghast. 

Her groom to be laughed, "No. They don't. Why do you think they pawned you to me?" He winked at her, his face laughing, but his eyes, colder than snow. He stood up from his chair and tilted her chin up to face him.  "Your family is poor now. Your dad won't stop gambling and your mother cares more about what society thinks more than she cares about you. So suck it up and choose a wedding date princess. We are getting married."

"Yamashita-san!" Maki's mother voiced out, "That is not true, I care about my daugh--"

"Stop." Her father interrupted and faced the young tycoon. "We'll leave you two to talk." He bowed and dragged his wife outside, closing the door behind him. 

She pushed his hands away from her face and sat down on the sofa, "I won't marry you. You asshole, i'd sooner fuck your lover." 

Maki saw his eyebrow raise, "Interesting...I have a lover? Pray tell, inform me about her, i'd love to know my taste in women."

"In men, you mean." 

"Men?" 

She was not prepared for the next scene. The so-called young tycoon opened his mouth and let out a booming laugh. His eyes crinkled at the corners and his face looked younger, healthier....

He looked beautiful, Maki couldn't tear her eyes away from his face. He had the reddest lips she had ever seen in a man. 

"My relationship with Toma is of no concern of yours but since you're going to be my wife. Expect to see him in the odd moments of the day."

"Are you deaf?! I said I won't marry you!" She shouted at him, "I will not! I won't! I don't care if we go bankrupt, I can fend for myself! No once can force me to marry you!"

Yamashita sighed mockingly, "So young and so selfish. Did you once even think about your parents? Your mother will lose all her friends, your father, his business partners. Where will they go? What will they do? Both of them are used to the rich, easy life. What will happen to you? Barely out of college and nowhere to go? Sooner of later you're going to end up using your body to support yourself. Would you really want that?" 

"I can work! People will hire me! I'm sure my parents have benefits and can live on their own."

He tskd' and gathered his coat. "Stop being silly dear, I think you're misunderstanding the situation. Your parents owe me money, they can't pay and even when they used the company as collateral, it isn't worth much." 

Maki eyed him warily as he leaned down and whispered, "That's why your mother sold you. She accepted money for it. A large amount, if I may add. If you as much as run out on our wedding, I will hunt your family down and you can be sure all of you will suffer the consequences of my wrath."

She stared shocked at the cold, unfamiliar face looming before her. 

He moved forward and pressed a surprisingly warm kiss on her frozen lips. 

"Sleep tight Maki-chan."

Was the last thing she remember him say.